Current Contemplation: Memories and Identity

The Memory Gun from Gravity Falls

experience memory identity

So recently I finished watching Gravity Falls, an excellent show that has a lot of heart (I know, I'm a few years late to the game here).  In particular, the series finale was one of the best I've had the pleasure to see.  However, it also brought up a lot of other things I've been thinking about lately.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR GRAVITY FALLS

In the finale, the main characters, twelve-year-old twins Dipper and Mabel, have to save the universe by erasing their great uncle, or "Grunkle", Stan's memories in order to defeat the antagonist Bill Cipher.  Stan, who has one of the best character arcs in the series, is mainly known for being a selfish con artist.  However, by the finale, he has finally reconciled with his estranged, long-lost twin brother and proven that he loves Dipper and Mabel.  It is only once he's gained all of this that he decides to sacrifice himself to trick Bill and save the universe.  By erasing Stan's memories, Bill, who is locked in Stan's mind, will also be erased from existence, and the universe saved.  It's a touching moment - one filled with a bittersweet victory, as the universe is saved, but Stan fails to recognize his own family.  At least, it is for a few minutes, before the show decides to help Stan regain his memories (it's a children's show and an ambiguous defeat for the villain all in one).

But it also made me think of a few different Doctor Who episodes, all of which involve erasing a character's memory to save the universe.  Each time this happens, it's a defining moment for the series and it poses the question of if the character is still the same if they've forgotten everything they've learned, all the experiences they've had, and all the people they've met on the journey.  (It's also a fairly convenient way that the BBC likes to get rid of their characters).

In short, all of this got me thinking - why is this so tragic? Why was I so gutted each time a character failed to recognized their loved one? It also made me think about my recent questions regarding experience and how valuable it truly is.  Specifically, I've been thinking about experience as related to advice giving and shaping our perspectives on life.

For instance, if my experience in life (how I've been treated, how my actions have played out, etc.) tells me the best political policy to adopt would be environmentally friendly, but if my peers' experience tells him that the best political policy to adopt would be anti-environment, how do we move forward? In this example, one might say "look at scientific data" or "consult expert opinions", but I think that both options still don't offer a clear, impartial way.  Scientific data can tell us what is happening in the environment (here, I'm assuming the data is clearly presented and not misconstruted to suit various people's purposes), but not what we should do to fix it.  Similarly, experts can only rely on their own experience in the world and the data presented to them to make an educated guess.  Sure, their education might give them a more informed "guess", but it still boils down to a reliance on their experience (both in and out of school).

Or what if we're debating a religious doctrine? Philosophy? How to proceed forward in an innumerable amount of options and actions and decisions? All of this seems to lie on experience.  This is most particularly evident when someone asks for our advice.  Often, people tell stories about how they acted, their rational for why they did (whether or not we agree with it or it is truly reasonable), and the unfolding of events/the consequences of their actions.  This is all well and good - storytelling is critical for helping us understand the world around us, form relationships, convey information, and so much more.  But what happens when I want to confirm my experience as valid, you want your experience confirmed as valid, and they disagree?

Here, I'm thinking of "valid" not only in terms of being a truthful source of information, but also as something that carries authoritative weight regarding how we live our lives/perceive the world around us.  Well, this gets into what I believe to be one of the problems in our meta-modern society - that of relative truth.  Here, since both of us had truthful experiences, we can't find a meaningful way to move forward.  We need something objective to help us ascertain what to do next.

I'm not thinking of experience as something that is invalid (in the sense that I'm using the term), or as something to be discounted when giving advice or thinking about the world around us.  Instead, I want to reconsider how much weight I should give my own experience.

All of that being said, I also wonder how much experience plays into informing ourselves and our identities.  Sometimes you get asked the party question of "what one event would you like to do-over/erase from your life?" or the variant "what's one thing you would like to change in your life?" Typically, I respond with something along the lines of not wanting to change a single thing in my past, because it would change who I am today, or some such variant, and I think a lot of people feel the same way.

However, that begs the question - am I a sum of all my experiences? Perhaps this is a more nuanced version of "nature versus nurture", but I want to take it one step further.  In the television shows, it's not like the characters who get their memories erased lose the ability to breathe, speak, think, etc.  It is only the events of the plot and the characters associated.  But underneath that they are still able to form opinions, have their personalities, etc.  Even if we want to think of it as something like a blank slate (here, Locke comes to the forefront of my mind), there's something special about the characters.  It's tragic that they don't remember their lives pre-memory wipe, but they're still able to form new memories and go on to live a happy, fulfilled life (presumably, because sci-fi/supernatural shows have fairly elastic rules regarding memory wipes).  So again I ask - why is this all tragic?

I posit here that we are more than our total sum of experiences and our inherent abilities/personality traits.  Of course, my Christian background leaks in here to say that our souls are made in the Lord's Image, and therefore we have something special in our identity which lies with the Creator Himself (via Christ).  But despite my tell, I could not tell you what I think this means going forward or hazard to replace what informs our identity if it is not experience/our abilities.

All I know is that shows like Gravity Falls make me re-evaluate my current thoughts regarding experience and memory.  If I had all of my memories erased in a television-finale-esque fashion, would I still be me? Certainly, I would miss my experiences growing up in Oregon, my time in university, and starting my life here in New York.  And I can't deny that all of those things have fundamentally shaped my perspective on the world, and how I like to think of myself.  But I also believe that even if I didn't have those specific experiences, I would still fundamentally be me.  I think I would still possess a variety of qualities that make up myself and I thnk even beyond that there's something special about my idenity as a soul knit by the Creator of Everthing - even if I don't know quite what that all is or how to even begin defining it.