God is very very good! Today I received two separate emails containing job opportunities! One of them was for an interview as an administrative assistant at a record company and the other was as a receptionist for the production branch of a television company!
The offer regarding the receptionist job would be under my temp agency for around a year with a steady hourly rate and a 9-5 Monday through Friday. Since I would still be under my temp agency, this commitment would be substantially longer (as in it would be harder for me to apply to full-time jobs outside of the agency). However, at the same time, this would be an excellent networking opportunity for me at the television company and I would have a full year of administrative experience securely under my belt.
The offer regarding the administrative assistant would be a full-time position under the actual record company. It would be in the A&R department, and it would be the first step to a full-time career position (I would make a salary as opposed to an hourly rate, I could advance within the department, etc). I would also be able to have the same type of great networking opportunity as with the previous job, but it would be in a different field.
The main catch is that for the television offer, I would start training on Friday and I would begin working right after New Year's. Moreover, it's essentially a guaranteed position if I say yes. In contrast, the record offer is just an interview, with no guarantee of a job and no way of knowing how long it would take to be hired (or not).
I definitely feel pretty conflicted. Both are excellent opportunities, but I wish I had more time to decide which one I want to pursue - and more time to consult the Lord about it. As soon as I heard from both offers, I started rejoicing before quickly descending into panic. I was worried that I would pick the wrong one, that I would get neither job, that I wouldn't be qualified enough, etc. etc. etc.
Luckily, Ike came to the rescue and helped remind me that, "If God [gave me] these two options out of the blue, know that He is in control of the outcome. Be interested in what HE is about to do". Indeed, I myself wrote that I need to remember these steps whenever an opportunity like this arises: 1) Give (profuse) thanks to the Lord 2) Offer up my anxieties/worries/stress about the opportunity 3) View the opportunity not to be a time for selfish promotion, but for Glorification of God (as a representative of His Kingdom).
Of course, all of this is great in theory, but in practice it really is quite difficult. I'm praying continuously about what the right decision is in this instance, and in many ways, I feel like the struggle I've felt for the past year (almost two!) about whether I should pursue music or television is at its natural conclusion (since I've indiscriminately gone after jobs in both fields).
In regards to film-making, I think I can be honest enough with myself to say that without the environment of my friends from California (and, indeed, LA itself), I don't care for film-making in its own right. My favourite part of the industry was more related to the people I got to work with rather than the work itself. However, that isn't to say the people aren't still a huge draw - I always love meeting interesting, creative people, and most of the time I get the privilege of doing so. Additionally, I usually enjoy the indie film-making process more than the corporate one - I like being able to forge your own path and have fun with your friends. However, if I ever seriously pursued film-making here I would definitely still hope to go into creating and developing children's programming and collaborating (until basically death) with Ike.
In regards to music, I think I can be honest enough with myself to say that I enjoy the history and prestige of it more than the novelty. I can barely bring myself to listen to anything past 1989 and I enjoy the corporate business side of the industry - it's a fascinating blend of quick(er) turn-arounds for products, licensing, contracts, and the overall creative energies that I haven't been exposed to in film. That isn't to say I think it doesn't exist in film-making, but I've never been able to get a close-up perspective of what it's like to be in a film agency (unlike music). I think I prefer the corporate world of music - that isn't to say the "generic top 100" so much as the world behind what makes "hit songs" and the landscape of what we listen to as a whole. I find the business aspect of it interesting and appealing because of the prestige and product associated with it (ie music). Not to mention that I also enjoy the people I've met in the industry as well - everyone is extremely laid back, no-nonsense, and extremely interesting (similar, but different, to film).
In a lot of ways, I am reminded of the summer before my freshman year in high school. I got a text from my then-mentor Megan, asking if I wanted to join yearbook with her. I was flattered, enjoyed Megan's company, and decided to sign up. At the time I thought I was still going to be a math teacher in a small school district. Four years later, I achieved the social studies department award and was majoring in film at university. Now, I find myself again faced with a decision that could set the next few years in motion (ie music or film). Even if I don't get either job, I know that what I chose to do now is something that will shape the next few years whether directly (as in a new job) or indirectly (as in where I want to hone my skills).
If I come down to it, I've been (for the past two years) much more passionate about music - I love talking about it with my friends and family, and I find myself reminiscing on my days at Sony more than I ever do about my time at HBO (even if I did really different tasks at both). I love the past of music and I look forward to the future (especially if I had a hand in shaping that landscape).
The main thing is that I don't want to abandon film completely because I also still get excited about the advances being made in Internetainment (as Rhett and Link call it), hope to one day make a great children's programme, and to once again work with Ike. However, I think this dream is also firmly cemented in my life in LA, while NY calls me more towards music (ie Bowie, etc.) So perhaps in my heart I've already chosen the record company, but I still feel pretty torn. That isn't to say I can't pursue film earnestly in the future, but for my immediate future (ie my 20s at the very least), this definitive choice will set whichever path I chose in motion.
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