Life Highlights: The End (Her Majesty)

It's officially been over a month since I've posted on here and just over 3 days since the official anniversary of this blog.

To say the past few weeks have been exhausting is an understatement.  I ended up facing a slew of both internal and external obstacles - moving apartments for the third time, officially applying for my current posiiton at HBO, planning a fall trip with my mom, learning how to be a handy woman in my new apartment, and to top it all off, and a positive note to end this chapter of my life, at least, seeing Ike for the first time in almost a year tonight!

However, despite this year being one of immense stress - pushing my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health to its limits - I can't help but also be so so SO grateful for my first year out of university.

I've learned even more about myself than ever before (including all that "self discovery" I did in college), learned more about the Lord's unfailing faithfulness and merciful graciousness than I ever thought possible, and overall feel like my life is better than it has been in a while.

I'm definitely not perfectly healthy and every day out here in New York City still feels like I'm clawing and fighting for my place to stay in the City.  I still haven't made as much progress as I would've liked in some areas of my life, but I've made leaps and bounds in others.  And I hope to move back to the west coast by spring of next year.

But no matter what, New York has solidified its place in my life and my heart by foundationally shaping who I am and who I will be as I continue trying my best to "adult" in the real world.

I don't have plans to completely abandon everything about this blog, but updates will definitely be quite sparse in the future, as although I feel like this blog has helped me process things and keep up with writing, I've taken to a more private, non-hackable mode as of late - journalling by hand in a beaten up old notebook.

So that's it for now, at least.  I've found out more about God (and Bowie as I have also come to love his favourite places in New York as my own), than I ever would've thought possible.  And now, I'm off to go pick up my best friend from the airport.

Life Highlights: Drabble 15

Today is the second day of summer Fridays and I already know I'll be hard pressed to give them up (come September)! Even though it was a short week with Memorial Day weekend on Monday and a short day today, this week still felt way too long!

Next week, with so many people out of the office next week in London, I'm hoping for a fairly quiet time, but we'll see! Mainly I'm just excited to enjoy this short day by going to a park with a friend after work.  The sun looks like it's finally decided to make an appearance after weeks of April gloom extending throughout May - so fingers crossed that it holds up so I can go enjoy it in about three hours!

So far my time at HBO has been filled with long days of boredom interspersed with short periods of activity.  Although I do love New York, I know the side of film I'd rather be in is located in Los Angeles (symbolically, not literally).  Even if I'm not thrilled to LIVE in LA, I am excited about the idea of going back to the Best Coast West Coast next year to be closer to all my friends and family.

Life Highlights: Drabble 14

Started getting back into the swing of things again with my reading list (after essentially dropping off the face of the earth in January), and I decided to take a crack at The Brothers Karamazov once again! Hoping to set myself a schedule like I used to do at university to make sure I actually finish it within a decent time frame (two weeks) and also so I can discuss it with my new friend who told me it was his favourite book! Luckily, I also already had plans to read it!

So far it's pretty good! Only about 50 pages in, but like most Russian novels I've had the pleasure to read it's witty, insightful, and a clear masterpiece just from the opening sentence:

"Alexey Fyodorovich Karamazov was the third son of Fyodor Pavlovich Karamazov, a landowner of our district, who became notorious in his own day (and is still remembered among us) because of his tragic and myserious death, which occurred exactly thirteen years ago and which I shall relate in its proper place."

The back blurb didn't need to convince me of it's already intricate themes regarding family, religion, politics/society, and what it means to be human - just within it's first few pages.  I can't wait to see what I think by the end of it!

Life Highlights: Memorial Day Weekend

The Atlantic as seen from Rockaway Beach (it was hard to get a photo without a person in it!)

Well I'm officially back from Memorial Day Weekend, and already feeling blue about it!

The weather seriously didn't get the memo that the weekend was Saturday-Monday, as the only properly decent weather was on Friday and Saturday.  Sunday and Monday it was cloudy and a little cold, but last Thursday and today it's nice and sunny - perfect summer weather.

However, that doesn't mean I didn't try to take advantage of what I could.  Friday I left at 2pm (almost no one was in the office - it felt like a proper summer holiday weekend) and then I got dinner with a friend and walked around a park afterwards, enjoying the nice summer night.

Saturday I went to Rockaway Beach, which I actually liked less than Coney Island mainly because it was so much farther away and it seemed a lot smaller to me.  However, it was great to go and experience anyway - the iconic Ramones song blasting away in my headphones all the while.  Not to mention that the water was crystal clear (I was super surprised) and I got to talk with Ike on the phone, write in my journal, and just take in the sea breeze and the sun.  Ike and I even decided to start a writing project together in which we exchange pieces each week regarding a theme word of the month! This month I chose the word to be "Reconciliation".

Sunday was a day of rest where I just coloured in a colouring book, ran a few errands, and then stayed up until 3:30am talking with my friend Liz on the phone for over 9 straight hours (not an exaggeration!) - we only call each other once a month because if we did any more we would never get anything done! I always anticipate our Sunday calls, and this one was a huge catch-up call because she didn't have youth group that night and it was Memorial Day weekend so I didn't have to go into work the next day, which was nice.  The main problem for me is just the time difference!

Then yesterday I had a really great day going out with a friend.  We went to my favourite park, looked at some street art, ate sandwiches, and looked around at the Strand (one of my favourite book stores).  We actually lost track of time because we were so engrossed in all the different titles (of course I ended up buying two books), and found out later that we spent around 5 straight hours in the shop! We both couldn't believe it, and obviously decided to go back home after we found out the time was 8pm at night! Then I got to catch up with my friend Anna before going back to the grind today.

The only consolation by far is that it's only 3.5 days this week, since Tues-Thurs are normal hours, but summer Fridays have officially started at HBO, meaning that I get to leave at 3pm! And this week I have plans to hang out again on Friday (and hopefully take advantage of some good weather!)

I also can't believe that June 1st is this Friday! Where has the time gone? Summer will be over before I know it and then Todd will be in Boston!

Life Highlights: Drabble 13

I feel the end of this blog drawing near (at least in terms of an "every day post" kind of thing.  I have turned more towards my journal to do my interior processing that I want to do regarding my spiritual life and revelations about God that He has blessed me with.  And my obsession with Bowie, while still a happy simmer, is slowly dying in favour of Gravity Falls, which it has been for a while anyways, but it well and truly is on its way out.

So I think at the anniversary of a year of this blog (in July) I'll switch over to updating when I have something interesting and/or important I want to talk about (that isn't on Facebook or something of that sort).  But otherwise I don't think I'll do my daily updates here.  Not that this blog has been a lot of updates - just snippets of poetry at most interspersed with life updates and drabbles (very few argumentative essays have appeared here since last year).

Which, honestly, I'm quite happy with.  Not everything I write do I want to be recorded by Google (or read by anyone on the Internet).  And hand writing in a journal is a perfect way to internally process a lot of thoughts and feelings that I have.  Even if I was reluctant at first to even call it a journal since in the past I've been so horrible at keeping one (as in, I never kept one).  I even called it originally just an ideas notebook or a place to drabble in - I only started calling it at journal after loving Gravity Falls.

And so life keeps moving on.  Marine came into town yesterday and we had a lot of fun.  First we went to the Met, then we went down to Madison Square Park and the Flat Iron building before going to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, finishing the day by shopping on Broadway in Nolita and at Macy's in Herald Square.  We got lunch at Dig Inn on the Upper East Side (delicious and healthy! If not also stupidly expensive), and dinner at Mexicue - really close to my work, actually, and totally phenomenal.  Great food with a reasonable cost - it's definitely going on my favourite places to eat out now.

She also surprised me with Broadway show tickets for tomorrow! We're going to see Anastasia which is great since I ALMOST got those tickets for when Manar was here, but ended up going to see Phantom instead (although that is also a fantastic show, of course).  So I'm super excited to see it now! I wish I could to an all out extravaganza like I did with Bubs and Todd again, but so soon after their visit just two weeks ago (almost three), I definitely don't have enough money (or time off) to do so right now, unfortunately.  But I'm planning on getting lunch and dinner/spend the evenings and nights with her for the next three days that she's here.

Other than that, I'm still holding out hope that my friend Nolan will be in the City in early June (I really would love to get dinner with him!) and then my friends Theo and Jordan are coming for the first week of July! So plans a plenty are still happening.  Not to mention the fact that my mom has THREE (!) trips planned for New York in the coming year - one in the fall, one during Christmas time, and one next spring! So lots to look forward to as my time in the City is drawing to a close (since I predict moving back to the west coast by some time next year).

Life Highlights: Drabble 12

Lately I've just not been "feeling God".  I know I should, but I don't.  I feel like this past month I've been focused on other things (perhaps distractions, perhaps not), but church on the whole has been a pretty low priority for me.

I don't feel engaged or enthusiastic to attend (just a vague sense of guilt for not going).  I don't feel like there's a lot of major spiritual epiphanies happening (in terms of me having some larger revelation about my inner life/spirituality/etc), although they were a dime a dozen for the first three months of 2018, so it makes sense that at some point I would reach a moment where they would slow.  Perhaps I should pray more or take more time for Bible devotions.  Or even just write more of my script.  But for right now I'm just not "feeling it".

There could be, you might argue, something to be said for "spiritual discipline", where you do things even when you don't "feel" like it (like devotional readings every morning even when you don't want to), but I don't know how actually helpful that is (or isn't).  To establish constancy in an inconstant world is good, but I'm not sure how actually useful it is for enriching your spiritual life when you feel like talking is a pointless waste of time.

Don't get me wrong - I think both sides of the argument raise good points.  But right now I'm not feeling incline to agree with spiritual discipline as of late.  Even though I know God is still working and moving and shaking in my life, I've just been too tired to experience the proper gratitude for all He's done for me.

After I go to the Lincoln Center for a concert tonight, I'm preparing to sleep all Saturday (with a few errands in between).  And perhaps a good classical music concert will put me in touch with the Spirit (feeling-wise) once again.

Life Highlights: Drabble 11

This past week has been extremely stressful so I took a mini-break from updating here to focus on inputting some journal entries, colouring in my new Gravity Falls colouring book, and crashing straight into bed as soon as I get home from work.  It's all been good, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to sleep until June.

The more exciting news is that Marine is coming to visit this weekend, and my mom officially is coming to visit me this fall and for a few days during the Christmas season! A New York Christmas is hard to beat (only topped by, of course, a Christmas back home in Oregon!)

Otherwise, life has been slowly but surely maintaining a sense of normality which is nice.  I have a steady job, even if it's not exactly what I want to do, I have a flat with decent roommates, and I've even been getting out there and meeting people which is pretty groovy.

As someone said out here - everyone is always looking for a new job, a new place to live, or a new relationship in New York City - and I'm officially part of the pack now.

Life Highlights: Drabble 10

"Look, real life stinks sometimes, okay, I'm not gonna lie. But there's a better way to get through it than denial, and that's with help from people who care about you. It's how we've gotten through our whole lives."

Binge watched Gravity Falls while waiting out the clock during the extremely slow day at work today.  And it made me really happy like it did five months ago when I first watched it in January.

It made me remember that for so much of my life I focused on what I didn't have versus what I did - how having a wealth of family and friends makes me richer than any amount of professional success or romantic love interest.  Friends and family are what help make life worth living and can show you Christ's unconditional love in the best way possible.

Life Highlights: Todd and Annaliese Visit

I had an absolutely incredible time with Annaliese and Todd while they visited of course! We did almost everything a tourist can do in New York City this past week.  A brief overview is as follows:

On the first day we went to eat at McGee's before walking around Times Square.

 On the second day we went to see the Statue of Liberty, Battery Park, the Financial District, the World Trade Center, the 9/11 Memorial, Chinatown, Little Italy, Nolita, and the East Village before going home to crash.

On the third day we went to Midtown to see Grand Central Station, the Chrysler Building, the UN, the NYC Public Library, Bryant Park, a Broadway Show (Phantom of the Opera), and then back to the East Village to go eat at Ivan Ramen, go to a bar called Bonnie Vee so Todd could meet up with a potential future Harvard roommate, and go to a real speakeasy.

On the fourth day we went over to Brooklyn Bridge park and Coney Island before heading back to Manhattan to go to MoMA and see a classical music concert at Carnegie Hall.

On the fifth day we went to Caffe Reggio before doing a walking tour around Washington Square Park, Nolita, NoHo, SoHo, Greenwich Village, Chelsea, and Gramercy, looking at the Highline, the art galleries, Madison Square Park, the Flatiron Building, Union Square, and the Strand, before heading back up to the Theatre District to see the second Broadway show - Kinky Boots.

On the sixth day we went up to Columbia University to explore the campus before going back down to see the Natural History Museum and then over to Brooklyn to see the Brooklyn Museum (and Bowie Exhibit!) and Prospect Park, finishing off the day by going to a jazz bar in Brooklyn and seeing Madison Square Garden/Herald Square before going inside the Empire State Building.

On the seventh day we were supposed to go to the Met, but in my oversight I didn't realise the Met was closed on the same day of the Met Gala.  So unfortunately we weren't able to go see it.  However, we did see the outside of it and explored Central Park before going down to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and wander around Little Italy/Nolita for a final time before their flight.

Overall we had a great time.  Annaliese took the most pictures of the three of us, so those will be posted as soon as she goes through all of them and deems us worthy of sharing Google Drive permissions.  (And I can't wait to see them!)

But yesterday I was swamped at work, and by the time I got home it was all I could do to not just pass out in bed.  Annaliese unfortunately brought airport germs into my abode, so I've been sick this past week as well.

But hopefully now I'm back on track to my fairly regular routine.  It still feels weird to be here after they left - as if I stayed to vacation in the City by myself (minus the work bit).  But to be honest, I just can't wait to sleep all weekend!

Life Highlights: Drabble 9

Today is the day! After five long months of waiting, my favourite little trolls will be here in New York with me in just a few hours!

Tonight I'm taking them to see Times Square (to get it out of the way, because seriously, no one wants to go to Times Square), and then I'm off work until next week to go explore the City with them! I'll definitely show them the office building I work at (although not the inside), when we go see Bryant Park and the Public Library on Thursday so they get an idea of where I spend most of my time.

Otherwise, I'm pretty excited just to take them down Broadway! Like I told the French guy I met, when I'm happy, I'm too much of a Bowie fan not to say that is music is what's blasting in my headphones.  And today it's been either GMM or Bowie concerts! I started with Glass Spider, but switched over to his 1996 performance at Rockpalast because nothing says celebrate like mid-90s grungy, jungle rock.

It's a gorgeous day outside too - sunny and 80 degrees (not that I would know being indoors - the air conditioning is so cold in the morning that I end up wearing a jacket inside).  A perfect start to their time out here! And it looks like the Lord has answered my prayers for some great weather too, as it's essentially partly cloudy in the 70s and 60s while they're here!

Life Highlights: Drabble 8

Despite abandoning this blog for the weekend, I actually didn't abandon writing! I was journaling all weekend in between preparing for Todd and Annaliese to come visit! Some good internal emotional work that has been beneficial for my spiritual/emotional health.  But that being said, I'm allowing myself a break from blogging from the 2nd to the 7th because I want to simply enjoy my time with them!

But a quick life update is that so far things have been good, even if I'm still stressed and my hamstrings are way too tight.  I've now been at HBO officially for one month and three days, so I feel a little bit better in terms of getting the hang of things.  I've ordered a car, filed an expense report, coordinated catering, etc. so I'm getting better at the raw components of the job for sure.  But I'm still lamenting the fact that I can't just make the exact things I want to make right now.  Again, the transition from film as a "passion project" to a "legit business profession" is tough.  But slowly but surely I think I'm getting there.

Meanwhile, I am also getting more accustomed to being a New Yorker in the sense that I don't just want to move back to the west coast immediately like I did earlier in 2018.  I think what's definitely helped is getting more of a work community and also making friends with my "new" roommates (of two months).  Not to mention that a steady paycheque now allows me to "break even" every month with my expenses, rather than simply going further and further into the red.

However, I still am pretty set on returning to LA next year as I still don't like being so far away from my friends and family.  Not to mention my hope for getting a job closer to what I actually want to be doing (producing) if I move back west.

As to Todd and Annaliese, I can't believe I'm seeing them tomorrow! I haven't seen them since December, but it's been too long! I can't wait to share the City with them and go do touristy things together.  I hope we all have as much fun as we've been planning for the past five months!

Life Highlights: Drabble 7

Today was full of scheduling meetings one after the other, so in a way it felt busy.  But in a larger way, it felt empty once again.  I can't wait until I am able to use scheduling as a commodifiable skill, but not what I am doing every day for the rest of my life.

Empty hours of waiting were balance with confirming and swapping meeting times around with a few clicks of the mouse.

One day, hopefully, I will be paid to make art I care about and no longer have to only dwell in the land of scheduling.

Life Highlights: Drabble 6

Wow! Did not mean to neglect this blog since Friday! But this weekend I was bound and determined to relax and turn off (relatively speaking).  So on Saturday I went to the Met Cloisters up at Inwood Park since it was a gorgeous spring day (although it was more like a summer's day since it was almost 80 degrees out!).  It was really great to see, although I also had mixed feelings about it.

It's basically a re-created cloister built in the 1930s to emulate the European cloisters/churches/abbeys from the Middle Ages.  And it actually is partially built out of those real materials imported from France, Spain, etc.  Then the museum branch itself has an (obviously) heavy focus only on European Christian art/relics/artefacts from the medieval ages (approximately 1100-1500 AD).  There were also pretty gardens in and around the property.

On one hand, I enjoyed the hodgepodge mash-up as quite an American thing - to take a bunch of older art that we don't have, and try to re-create the environment here.  But on the other hand, my anachronism internal-radar going off the charts because they mixed up cultures, countries, and centuries almost indiscriminately.  For instance, for an alter area they put together candelabras from the 1500s from Spain together with a crucifix from Germany from the 1300s with a table from Britain from the 1400s, with stained glass windows from Italy and Germany from the 1200s, etc.  To me, that just seems insane.  It would be like if we put together a place of worship with relics from the 1600s to the 2000s (also a time gap of 400 years).

Perhaps this is the hip, new way to curate museum exhibits and I'm just out of touch (for instance, the Bowie exhibit was similarly arranged more by theme rather than era/decade/place).  And in some fashion it was cool to see the different manifestations of Christianity in Europe over the centuries.  But if they were to combine things like that, I'd rather have at least a common country or year in one section of the cloister gallery.

My favourite pieces there were all the stained glass windows and tapestries.  But my favourite parts of the whole place altogether were definitely the gardens and surrounding lawns.  It was small, but quaint, and after an entire winter of cold and snow and deadness it was a welcome warmth.

Then Sunday I basically was a hermit and didn't go outside except for a quick grocery store stop and just watched YouTube videos all day (the best kind of day).  This unfortunately was a good call to make, as the weather went back to the gloom and dreariness of April.  Still excited and preparing for when Todd and Annaliese visit in just two weeks!

Life Highlights: Planning New York Trip

Taking my job as "Tour Guide" very seriously today and going over in depth the "MASTER PLAN ITINERARY" that I've prepared for when Todd and Bubs get here.  Obviously we can do as much or as little as we want, but I just want to make sure that we have the option to see ALL OF THE THINGS together when they get here!

Yesterday I went to the Strand while waiting around in Gramercy, and although I originally was going to buy the DK guidebook (you can never go wrong with DK), I found the "Blue Guide: New York" instead to be even better.  It was all organized by neighbourhood as well, with little paragraph blurbs of history about the highlights of each area - exactly what I was looking for.  Apparently, this brand has been around for 100 years (! and of course it's British), and has editions for lots of different cities.  And after perusing through it a bit, I think I have a much better idea of what I want to plan and where to go.

At first I thought I planned too much, then I thought I had planned too little, but now I'm back to thinking I've planned too much! I've broken everything down into neighbourhood sections so that we can highlight one part of New York in a day and then move on to another area, but there's so much to see and do in each place!

If we just walked around then I'm sure it wouldn't be too strenuous, but for some of the things where they're only open certain hours, set times on tickets, lines, etc. definitely add up the cost (both in time and in money).  So right now I'm trying to figure out which things we should pre-order, which we can buy there, and which things we want to do at all.

Todd and Bubs may be annoyed at my incessant planning and nagging texts, but it's all in the spirit of making sure we get to do everything we want to while they're here (I swear!).

Life Highlight: David Bowie Is Part 2 Review

So Round 2 of "David Bowie Is" was even more emotional than the first time.  But let me first talk about more curation/technical things I noticed this time around, as I got the official "David Bowie Is [ blank ]" room titles and the flow of the themes.  They are (in order of how you experience them):

David Bowie Is: "[theme]" (what was in the room)

First Room:

• "A Face in the Crowd" (his early years in Bromley)
• "Thinking About a World to Come" (his early years at Decca and 1960s career)
• "Floating in a Most Peculiar Way" ("Space Oddity" corner highlight)

Second Room:

• "Using Machine Age Knife Magic" (Ziggy Stardust costumes/lyrics, Diamond Dogs storyboards, first "SNL" highlight - "The Man Who Sold the World" performance)
• "Never at a Loss for Words or Poses" (his process for writing lyrics/a variety of his lyrics)
• "Taking Advantage of What the Moment Offers" (his album cover design process/highlights of different collaborators/Earthling era costume)

Third Room:

• "Surprising Himself" (his studio process highlight)
• "Making Himself Up" (first costume highlight, "Love You Til Tuesday" performance highlight in "The Mask", minor "Hunky Dory" highlight)

Fourth Room:

• "In the Best Selling Show" ("Life on Mars?" highlight)

Fifth Room:

• "Moving Like a Tiger on Vaselline" ("1980 Floor Show" highlight, 1978 music videos/documentary/fan highlight, additional "SNL" highlight - "Boys Keep Swinging" performance highlight, some Tin Machine highlights)

Sixth Room:

• "A Picture of the Future" (music video highlight)

Seventh Room:

• "Quite Aware of What He's Going Through" ("the Black & White Years" highlight - mainly Berlin Era, brief Sound + Vision era highlight)
• "Moving in This Direction" (ISOLAR I & II highlight)

Eighth Room:

• "A Success in New York" ("Elephant Man"/"Basquiat" highlight, additional "SNL" highlight - "TVC-15" performance highlight)
• Note: Technically this room and the Eleventh Room should be seen as a pairing

Ninth Room:

• "Wearing a mask of his own face" (concert performance/second costume highlight)
• "Watching You" (Diamond Dogs tour highlight)
• "Saying You're Wonderful Give Me Your Hands" (Touring-specific highlight, mainly from "Glass Spider"[?])

Tenth Room:

• "Famous" ("Fame" highlight, "Young Americans" era highlight)

Eleventh Room:

• "Wearing Many Masks" (film performance highlight)
• Note: Technically this room and the Eighth Room should be seen as a pairing

Twelfth Room:

• "Himself" (portrait highlight)
• "Where We Are Now" (final costume highlight)
• "Responsible for a Whole New School of Pretensions" (legacy highlight of artists influenced by Bowie)

Thirteenth Room:

• "Teaching You That Things Always Change" ("★" highlight)

I noted this time around that many of the costumes didn't have shoes (if they even had the right pairing of shoes to begin with), and that having the names of the themes/rooms doesn't detract from my earlier critique about the arrangement of the costumes and themes still stands.

Additionally, I realised that the film room neglects to include what could perhaps be Bowie's greatest acting performance highlight - LRH (Lord Royal Highness) in "SpongeBob's Atlantis Squarepantis").  After all, chronologically it ends on The Prestige, but that was a full year before SpongeBob, and, as any dedicated Bowie fan knows, Christopher Nolan had to personally visit Bowie to try and convince (read: beg) him to play the part of Tesla in The Prestige, whereas Bowie wrote about his role in Spongebob Squarepants: Atlantis Squarepantis as, "At last I’ve hit the Holy Grail of animation gigs. Yesterday I got to be a character on…tan-tara…Spongebob Squarepants. Oh Yeah!! We, the family, are thrilled. Nothing else need happen this year, well, this week anyway."  And the thought of Bowie being absolutely chuffed about being in Spongebob, whereas he had to be convinced to take part in The Prestige is a great insight into Bowie's character and great sense of humour.

I also observed the people who went to go see the exhibit more this time around.  It was just as heart-warming as the first visit to see that age, gender, nationality, ethnicity, ability - there was literally no discernible pattern to dub someone a "typical Bowie fan".  He transcended all boundaries.  I saw new born babies, children, teenagers, young adults, middle aged adults, and the elderly - all of them bobbing their heads in time to Bowie crooning his timeless music.  It moved me to tears to think about how even fifty years later his music is still just as fresh, relevant, and catchy as it ever was.  After all, it's held up to me listening to absolutely nothing else for over two years, and I haven't gotten bored of him yet.

However, something struck me as particularly telling about how this leg of the tour was curated, the rise of social media, and Bowie himself - almost everyone was more transfixed by the video screens than his artefacts.  Large grounds of people huddled around the projectors displaying his image rather than his hand-written lyrics just behind the video screen, where they just shuffled along after glancing at it and/or reading the accompanying description.  This struck me particularly curious as the exhibit itself didn't have any remarkably rare video footage (indeed, you could watch every minute projected on YouTube, like I have).  But Bowie's sheer level of charismatic performance just draws people in.  I too found myself at times hard pressed to look away from videos I had seen dozens of times before to look at rare artefacts I'd only get a few chances to see in person.  Nevertheless, I certainly looked made sure to take my time reading all of his cramped, handwritten notes and every detail sewn into his costumes as this was such a rare opportunity.

Which, that being said, let me just take this opportunity to once again highlight how fucking smart David Bowie is [he's so smart, only swearing can fully convey just how smart he is].  He had the wherewithal and foresight and sheer determination to catalogue and save all his memorabilia and props and notes because he knew they'd be worth something one day.  And indeed, as this excellent exhibit shows, he was certainly right.  Millions of people have queued up and paid to go see this worldwide show, and if the figures for my tickets are anything to go by (for the low end), he and the curation gang have made at least $50 million in revenue (on the very low end).  Not to mention that he mastered the game of self-promotion and persona performance decades before the rise of social media.

The overall tone of the New York leg definitely views Bowie as the Consummate Performer and the Brit who loved-and-turned New Yorker (and the City that loved him in return).  And the exhibit itself attempts to fuse the pop culture perception, remastered, restored Bowie with the original preserved, authentic work from Bowie's past.  It's an exhibit that reinvents the pop cultural perception of an artist who continually reinvented his image (it's rather meta, and therefore I think a fitting hodgepodge tribute to the man himself).

And finally, my personal reaction this time around was definitely more emotional.  I didn't feel a burning need to crowd my way to the forefront of every artefact since I had already (thankfully) seen it before, so I could just revisit my favourites and immerse myself properly.  I also didn't find myself analysing every single little thing like the first time around as a result of my more laid back approach (not that this blog post makes it particularly telling that I wasn't analysing every detail).

Not to mention that I didn't stay as long because unbelievably (and yet not at the same time), it was more crowded on Sunday than it was opening day, and I was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic.  And I was getting hungry.

But just being there again a second time, being able to take it all in, I was moved to tears looking at all the people Bowie brought together, his profound impact on my own life, and just being in the presence of all his history and legacy.  And I was also able to get my official David Bowie Is tote bag and collector's book! It was so weird and melancholy and amazing to get a book published five years ago when the exhibit first premiered in London, when there was still more Bowie to look forward to and the Great Himself still walked the Earth.  Truly, there was and will never be another like Bowie.

David Bowie Is My Hero.

Some Favourite Quotes:

"Think of all the crazy things we'll never do." - Bowie

"It was a crisp sunny morning and the first breath of the 70s.  I'd taken the subway as close as I could to the Village, and, the streets being deserted, followed my nose for that icon for Brit bohos, Bleecker Street.
And with one foot in front of the other I retraced each and every strep of Dylan's work, pictured on his Freewheeling album.  All at once the long ghosts of my [entil visiasms ? writing unclear here] crowded in front of me.  Duchamp, Dean, Mingus, Davis, a crocodile line on which I became a mere flick of the tail.  But I was home." - Bowie

Life Highlights: Two Days Later and Birthday Re-Cap

They Say it's Your Birthday!

Wow! So it's been two days since I updated this blog - the longest gap since I started it last July.  But this weekend I was extremely busy/exhausted so now is the first time I feel like I can properly write something!

On Saturday I celebrated my birthday by going to an exhibit called MONOCHROME in Brooklyn with Michiru before going to Esme (a fun little cafe/restaurant a few blocks away form the show) for lunch (I got a really good fried chicken sandwich with bacon and fries).  The exhibit was a fun little thing- Michiru was right in getting there when it opened, as we waited around forty-five minutes to get in.  And after we left the line had quadrupled in size, so  we were glad that we got there earlier.  The exhibit itself was a bunch of rooms all themed around a different colour (ie a blue living room, a red kitchen, etc).  Although it rankled of potentially lower case "a" art, I think it still brought up interesting questions about why a certain colour and room were paired together and why the artist chose that specific flow of colours for the audience to experience (blue to red to green to yellow to pink to purple to orange).

Then on Sunday I went back to go see the David Bowie Is exhibit for a second time.  I admit I cried even more than I did the first time around, and I'm already thinking of buying another ticket for next month.  But a full post about this will be going up next.  I actually activated my "adulting powers" by waking up super early on Sunday to go shopping at Target (seventeen blocks away), clean the entire flat, make lunch/dinner, and do meal prep for the rest of the week.

This weekend it occurred to me that I've gained some extra weight since last fall due to a mix of anxiety, stress, bad eating habits, lack of exercise, and readjusting my entire posture/back to be in proper alignment.  All of that means that I'm now on a kick to only eat healthy things and exercise for the entire month of April.  Hopefully after April this will all continue, but "healthy food" is gosh darn expensive.  Not to mention that if I was in LA I would have way more choices/opportunities to do so unlike NYC.  Although I'm not about the health-crazed exercise zombies in So Cal, when you ARE actually trying to get healthier it's way easier than NYC (if nothing else because you have more options to choose from because it's part of the culture).

But extremely good birthday haul this year as I got a membership to the Met, a subscription to the Siuslaw News, and tickets to a mysterious surprise for when Todd and Annaliese come visit in three weeks (!) from my mom, the pre-order for the Collector's Edition Complete Series of "Gravity Falls" from Snake, lunch at Esme from Michiru, an Amazon gift card from my aunt, and a mysterious card coming in the mail in a few days from my brother.  And of course Bowie tickets from myself - including the official tote bag and collector's book.

Now I'm going on week three, day ten of HBO goodness, and already I keep thinking about what I want my next move to be after I gain as much experience as I can in this position.  Hopefully time flies by (along with my exercise nonsense).

Life Highlights: Pete Souza Event

Today my boss generously gave me a seat in the auditorium to hear Pete Souza, the official photographer of the Obama Administration, talk about his new book and some of the pictures therein.  It was above and beyond anything I expected (which was, mainly, a slideshow of his work with a comment here or there).  Instead, I got an inside look into the stories behind the book, who Obama was like as a president, father, husband, and individual, and what it was like to be the official documentarian of a presidency.  Below were some of the photography notes I took during the event:

• The official job of the White House Photographer - to visually document a presidency for history (a position since the Kennedy Administration)
• Be there for the "little moments"
• Know where a "contrast moment" could be had (ie Obama sitting in a windowless, basement office as a senator versus at the Oval Office; him unknown in Moscow versus now, etc.)
• Inserts offer insight to character (ie Obama's speech edits - demonstrate how he thinks, works, edits, talks with others, etc.)
• Blend in with the room, don't interfere, and get a quiet camera
• Your shot doesn't have to be perfectly composed if you can still get the vulnerable moments (ie Obama being petted on the head by the five-year-old boy - you can still see the eyes of the boy, the posture of Obama, etc. even if it wasn't perfectly composed)
• "You run an election to win; once you get there you need to get things done." - Obama
• Contrasts are key - ie the tension in the Bin Laden room with the most powerful people in the federal government now powerless to watch the people on the ground
• Obama was constantly editing up until he was live
• "Aesthetic versus Narrative" - what the presidency is like versus the personal narrative of the subject
• Little slice of life moments can't be planned - be willing to be there for them and they can show you aspects of the subject's character
• Before/After shots of wounded soldiers - again, contrast for the emotional response
• Being true to history versus subjective sympathetic leanings (ie should Souza include a photo of Trump in his book about the Obama presidency - not to mention sales impact)
• Contrast of a day - ie the day Trump went to meet with Obama (hopeless) versus the young boy to meet with Obama later in the day (hopeful)
• Social media exploded during the Obama administration, so the popularity of photos shared changed drastically
• The role of the photographer - observer versus participant; essentially being so close to a subject for so long allowed a type of confidant relationship regarding a shared experience
• "Make versus Take" photos - changes the agency of the photographer (you can't plan on certain moments happening)

Life Highlights: Drabble 5

[Not an accurate representation of the current New York spring weather]

I can't believe it's only Tuesday (6th day, 2nd week of my time here - I feel like a prison in-mate counting down the days).  Finally I'm starting to get some more work my way regarding re-scheduling meetings, booking conference rooms, and that sort of thing.  However, in between the work is the same monotony of waiting for the clock to tick on by.  That being said, it's not like it would be much different if I was at my flat instead of at work.  I'm quite frugal (out of necessity) so it's not like I would be off gallivanting on extravagant trips abroad.  Perhaps the main difference is just that I wouldn't have to be out of my pjs.

In other news, my mom sent me some great photo collage wall art pieces that are now proudly split between my office and my room, which are rather exciting to have.  They remind me of all the good times I was on vacation with my friends (or at least weekend plans).  I am once again confronted with the odd reality which is that a 9-5 has no vacations the length that school children/teachers or freelancers enjoy.  After I see Todd and Annaliese in a month, I will have no scheduled vacation until Thanksgiving, which seems entirely too far away.  I think that I will have to plan for a getaway before then, otherwise I will go crazy with the monotony and the routine.

I was actually hoping this month to get to go home for Rhody Days before this new job opportunity popped up, and the fact that my friend Marine is visiting.  Otherwise, my friends Theodora and Jordan are also coming to visit the last week of June which will be lovely.  They're staying with Theo's family, so I'll probably get to see them for a dinner or two and the weekend.  And my friend Nolan might be coming in early June to the City, which I would be extremely delighted about.

But the only other things to stave away the monotony thus far seem to be reminding myself of the Ultimate Goal and that this job is temporary.  By the end of next year I hope to have moved on to be in the exact department I want to be in and be one step closer to being a producer.  I also hope to have saved up some money and a shiny new script - completed - in my back pocket.

It's also nice to remind myself that I'm still technically hired by my staffing agency, so if I wanted to terminate this position earlier than actually converting to full-time, that's still on the books.  That's not to say that I would, since obviously being full-time with benefits would be the ideal, but to know that it's my choice what I'm doing with my time is nice to remember.  Especially as I think back to the advantages (somewhat) of freelance, in which you have the most control over your time.  It reminds me of a CGP Grey video in which he said he was always more attracted to the jobs which allow you to have more control over your time.  One day, perhaps, I will be able to be a freelance producer and have control over that element all on my own.

Aside from work, everything else seems to be going relatively well - minus the fact that it's April and there was snow yesterday, and that with the warmer weather the cockroaches seem to be coming out of the woodworks.  The exterminator needs to come back again pronto.  If the rent wasn't so great I would've moved out by now.

My birthday is in two days, and Michiru and I are planning on going to the Met on Saturday afternoon for some birthday celebrations, which will be nice.  And hopefully I'll also get to hear from Ike some time this week, but I can't say that I'm holding my breath either (at least before the weekend).  But today I was blessed with having the good fortune to hear from Hayden.  Hayden and I go way back to elementary school, and I reached out to him yesterday for some help regarding a script I'm developing.  He responded this morning, and it was extremely nice to hear from him again.

And that's about it for now.  Still trying to get the hang of everything and figuring out where meaning can be derived from in a position which, on the outside may seem like the dream come true, but on the inside the daily monotony is rather abhorrent.  Just 457 more days (or 90 weeks or 21 more months) until the last day of 2019 in which I will once again be on the move.

Life Highlights: Easter Review

I hope everyone had a great Easter! I know I did, as I went to church and got to talk with my sister in the afternoon. 

This year unfortunately I didn't feel particularly "Easter-y", as the message was one of the first ever I felt was a bit ... lackluster.  Not that the point of the sermon was bad, but it also wasn't the best Easter message I had ever heard.  Perhaps next year I'll actually participate in Lent in order to get my mind into gear about the Easter season.  I also realised that starting from 2015, my birthday will coincide with Easter every 11 years until 2048.

Meanwhile, I hadn't talked to the snake since December, so it was really nice to get to chat with her.  She even - while on the line - ordered me my birthday present which was (per my request) the DVD collector's edition boxset of Gravity Falls! And I also got to tell her about my potential move back to LA by the end of next year (December 2019).  She seemed pretty excited, and we both looked forward to the day we could afford a two-bedroom together (and make it look extra cute).  Hopefully, that will be by 2019!

And finally, I was definitely saddened to realise that the weekend was already over (now all the tropes about LI VI NG FOR TH E WEEK E ND are true about my life once more!).  But thankfully this Monday has been rather tame as all the executives are out for the day.  I hope that it somewhat remains this way as I continue to settle in.

Life Highlights: Day One of Adulting

Yesterday was a landmark day as I started my position as an “EA” (Executive Assistant) at HBO! It’s a “temp to full” position, meaning that I’m still technically under my staffing agency until I either am let go/quit the assignment or I am hired on full time.  It’s essentially like a probationary period, without actually being hired under HBO.  I’ve been keeping the whole affair fairly quiet, as I don’t want to officially announce anything across my social media (this blog being an exception) until I (hopefully) get the full time position officially.

However, as a result I had no time to write on my blog, as I was busy assimilating myself into the position.  So far (as I can tell from one day) everyone seems quite pleasant and the job seems fairly straightforward.  Obviously there will be a learning curve, but I’m not discouraged by any means.

The executive I’m assisting also seems like a great fit for my personality type.  The first impression I got from her was “trusting and fair” – I liked that she understands “life happens” and isn’t going to monitor the clock, trusting that I’ll know how long I need to stay in order to get my work done.  And I also like that with that trust, she expects me to do my work with thoroughness, precision, and without excuses.  Not to mention that her expectations seem fair – she doesn’t expect me to know everything on day one, and to actively ask questions if I need help.  I know that I couldn’t be an assistant for “just anyone” – especially if our personalities clashed.  So I’m very happy to see that prayers have been answered regarding this concern.  Meanwhile, my co-workers all seem friendly and helpful.  I work with one who is also a massive Bowie fan as well! Obviously, this made me extremely happy.  And all of them are there if I need to ask for any sort of advice which is really lovely too.

I think the main thing that threw me for a loop yesterday was my sharply conflicting emotions about the whole experience.  I felt weirdly excited, nervous, and hollow all equally distributed throughout the day.  I felt simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the whole process.  Thinking everything through, I realized that I’ve never worked a “proper 9-5” before, and that it was a new way to re-schedule my life.

Before now, school was always from 8:30-15:10 (or from 8:30-13:45 on Thursdays).  Then university varied depending on the day, but normally I would try to stack my classes onto the fewest days possible in order to have lots of space in-between during the week to work on whatever I wanted, as weekends were always reserved for the Mouse.  Which, speaking of, working in restaurants conditioned me to think of weekends as prime work days rather than week days, where hours would be shorter – and even then, most shifts (if you’re not doing a double) only consist of 4-5 hour increments.  And even for the career I was pursuing for the first three years of university, the work schedule was styled in the fashion of college in the sense that freelance meant stacking your work into long days for a few months versus spread out over the year.  In short, I’ve never had a job (or actively thought of doing a job) since I was fifteen where you’re expected to show up Monday through Friday, “9-5” (although it’s actually more like “9-6:30”).  And the rest of my daily/working experience also conditioned my lifestyle and expectations to imagine a life where that wasn’t my reality.  I mean, even as a temp I would be able to go when I wanted to go in on assignments that varied in length, company, and position.

Now, that I’ve rather abruptly settled into such a routine, it’s … odd.  It feels like a loss to realise that things like doctor’s appointments and grocery shopping now have to conform to the “norm” of outside traditional working hours.  It’s weird to think that this is what most people do every day, and the mundane reality of it all.

I feel underwhelmed in the sense that I know what the job is, and it doesn’t seem like I’ll ever get the “film set high” again (in reference to the adrenaline rush akin to “runner’s high” that I would get on a film set, not marijuana).  I’m also not in the exact department I want to be in (yet), as a lot of this is to flesh out my resume in order to get to be a part of the Industry that I actually want to grow in (specifically, development/pre-production).  And even so, I currently don’t have a lot of “proper” work to do yet, as I’m still settling in and IT is still getting my account up and running so I am synced and allowed into all the systems that I need to access in order to do my job.  It feels like a lot of build up to essentially be left hanging.  Perhaps soon I will long for the day where it feels this peaceful once more, but for now I feel like I was building up to an ideal of a “fancy job as a fancy assistant in a fancy city” that was for naught.  Thankfully, though also surprisingly, my life is not like Anne Hathaway’s in The Devil Wears Prada.

Yet at the same time I feel overwhelmed on an interpersonal level.  Everyone I am working with is obviously a new face, and as someone who somewhat feels social anxiety, trying to learn everyone’s name and face and department feels a bit demanding.  Of course, on an intrapersonal level as well, wanting to make a good first impression on my boss and getting to know her are also things that add to the list of “Scary New Things”.  And on a technical level, trying to understand the various programmes and forms/formats that are the standard in house procedures is the cherry on top.  Sure, it won’t be too hard after a few tries, but the crash course is not something I particularly relish.

And in between those moments of under and overwhelmed expectations, I felt the traditional pull of nervousness mixed with excited-ness to start something new.  The emotions inherently present in the concept of a last potential “big change” (for at least a year), starting to establish a routine, were all accounted for.  However, what I didn’t account for was feeling … hollow.  Sporadically, three times throughout the day yesterday I felt empty.  And I couldn’t explain it until later when I realized that my emotional/mental health is truly on the mend.

There’s been times in my life where I have felt overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings in the face of change, just like any other person.  However, if I begin to feel anxious and stressed from these emotions in a setting where I can’t deal with them right away (like in a work setting), instead of healthily interacting and processing the emotions, my mind simply marks them as “too complicated to deal with right now” and compartmentalizes them away.  This is great in a siege situation, if I truly don’t have time to interact fully with my emotions.  However, I find myself unable (or perhaps unwilling) to take the emotions back out and properly sort through them once I’m able to be in a more conductive situation and setting.  For the first time in my life, I was able to realize a moment where I shut down, and it felt strange and foreign.  So in the end, I felt like I had reasonably processed through everything, although no conclusive thoughts or statements were made (much like much of my life post-Torrey, I’m afraid).

Thus, in conclusion, day one was as successful as it could be, relatively speaking.  And today, day two, is likewise promising as I slowly begin to take on more of my responsibilities as an EA.