Lately I've just not been "feeling God". I know I should, but I don't. I feel like this past month I've been focused on other things (perhaps distractions, perhaps not), but church on the whole has been a pretty low priority for me.
I don't feel engaged or enthusiastic to attend (just a vague sense of guilt for not going). I don't feel like there's a lot of major spiritual epiphanies happening (in terms of me having some larger revelation about my inner life/spirituality/etc), although they were a dime a dozen for the first three months of 2018, so it makes sense that at some point I would reach a moment where they would slow. Perhaps I should pray more or take more time for Bible devotions. Or even just write more of my script. But for right now I'm just not "feeling it".
There could be, you might argue, something to be said for "spiritual discipline", where you do things even when you don't "feel" like it (like devotional readings every morning even when you don't want to), but I don't know how actually helpful that is (or isn't). To establish constancy in an inconstant world is good, but I'm not sure how actually useful it is for enriching your spiritual life when you feel like talking is a pointless waste of time.
Don't get me wrong - I think both sides of the argument raise good points. But right now I'm not feeling incline to agree with spiritual discipline as of late. Even though I know God is still working and moving and shaking in my life, I've just been too tired to experience the proper gratitude for all He's done for me.
After I go to the Lincoln Center for a concert tonight, I'm preparing to sleep all Saturday (with a few errands in between). And perhaps a good classical music concert will put me in touch with the Spirit (feeling-wise) once again.
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