WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MAJOR GRAVITY FALLS AND JOURNAL 3 SPOILERS
So yesterday I bought Journal 3, the canon copy of the book from Gravity Falls, and it didn't disappoint. I could go on and on about how you should buy this book if you're a fan of the show (or even if you're not) because of how incredibly detailed and well-written it is. The perfect supplement to the show, it both embellishes the show with more details/insight into character motivations/arcs as well as furthering the show's plot even after the finale.
Perhaps my favourite thing about the book, however, is that it made the character of Ford more relatable, empathetic, and ultimately my favourite one of the bunch. His parallel to Dipper's character is clear in the show, and in my original run-through of the show, Dipper was my favourite, so it makes sense to me that Ford could become my new #1. Both of them are incredibly smart, courageous, curious, in posession of a birth abnormality, and a bit nerdy. The main difference between the two, is that Dipper contains all of Ford's strengths, but battles his weaknesses correctly. Dipper doesn't fall into the same hubristic trap that Ford does, and learns to values family and friends over being a hero much sooner.
Thus, it doesn't surprise me that Ford's arc is instantly, as an adult, more relatable than Dipper's. When he and his brother Stan and fail to work together to vanquish evil, but see Dipper and Mabel work together to fight the villain, Bill Cipher, Ford wonders how they're able to put aside their differences. In response, Stan says, "They're kids, they don't know any better." Truer words couldn't be spoken, as I think that as adults, we do find it harder to work together because we "know better". We know what it's like to be betrayed, to be disappointed, to be a failure. Is it any wonder I relate so strongly to Ford? The slightly nerdy outcast who longs to be great, gain acceptance, recognition, and prove his naysayers wrong?
Perhaps I don't have naysayers per say, but I do understand the rest of his quest. Reading "his" journal made me realise that as altruistic as I would like to think my move to New York was, I can't deny the more selfish part of me. The part which wanted to move to accomplish - something. To prove to the world, but mostly to myself, that I wasn't a failure. To succeed here - somehow - before going back to the West Coast to show off my great adventure, my great deeds, my great victories. To have a reason for my family to be proud of me that I could point to.
I'm not sure what to do with this insight that Journal 3 helped me understand other than to acknowledge it and move forward. I recognize that part of my hope in moving was to accomplish Greatness and win Glory. After I read The Sailor Who Fell from Grace With the Sea, I wrote this snippet in my journal:
My soul feels restless. Like a wandering spirit is caught in my breast, always fighting, always seeking for a place to call home. My inability to find contentment is worrisome. I hope one day to be granted a reprieve from my suffering. Loneliness is good for character building, but I am unsure if I will be chosen to have glory thrust upon me.
But after reading Ford's words, I hope that I remember to rely on a community that has supported me every step of the way (even - especially - when I fail to acknowledge them). I hope that I remember not to waste the second chances I will inevitably need. I hope to remember that humility, trust, and love is where true glory is found.
Below are excerpts from the book that wonderfully illustrate Ford's most relatable journey:
--
Our family is in danger, and I have to do something about it. I have been hesitant, however, to talk to the rest of the Pines about Bill (even Dipper, who I've grown to trust). I'd like to believe that this is out of a desire to protect them, but if I'm honest with myself, it's because I'm ashamed ...
What would they think of me if they knew that it was my folly, my hubris, that conjured Bill in the first place? That he tricked me into creating the portal, and that the rift is a direct, physical reminder of the terrible deal I made so many years ago? Would Dipper still look up to me - or would he just consider me a fool?
No, I need not tell them everything. Just enough for now.
--
Looking back on my lifetime of catastrophic mistakes, I realize one great pattern in all my follies. I thought being a great man meant being alone. Apart from the crowd. I bristled at the idea of sharing my accomplishments with anyone. I shunned my brother for one dumb mistake, and I shunned Fiddleford for having the sense to try and stop me from dooming the world.
Even when I was given a second chance, I still held others as a distance. If I had been able to widen my circle of trust ... if I had believed in the Zodiac's prophecy sooner ... we might have gathered everyone together and banished Bil before he was able to strike. I just couldn't get over the idea of myself as the lone hero ... and it was Stanley who paid the price.
"Trust No One." What an absurd and paranoid idea. Trust shouldn't be given unconditionally, but it should be given a chance to be earned. There is strength in having the humility to work with and sacrifice for others - a strength I now realize was in my brother all along.
Stanley Pines was the man who saved the world, not me. I spent so long thinking he was a selfish jerk, and he turned out to be the most selfless man I've ever met in any dimension. If I'm totally honest, I must admit that he's a hero and I'm ... a hero's brother. And I'm okay with that.
--
It is a beautiful summer day. Everyone is packing for their respective futures, but I have found my mind drifting to how lovely the cloudless sky looks beneath the August sun. I've spent too long with my head in a book; it's time to look at the world - and people - around me once more.
--
And that brings us to you, dear reader. If you are holding this book in your hands, you hold something more than a record of the curious happenings of a town called Gravity Falls. You hold a record of one man's folly and the kindness of a family that saved him from himself. It's never too late to learn that growing old doesn't have to mean growing up.
Stay curious, stay weird, stay kind, and don't let anyone ever tell you you aren't smart or brave or worthy enough.
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