Today was my second day at the restaurant. It was not as soul-draining as the first day, but it was still rather dismal. This was (and is) predominately because the people at the restaurant remind me of all my spiritual failings and professional insecurities. Going into detail on that is for another post - what I really wanted to highlight is that my managers all seem to emphasize being aggressive to guests.
Not insofar as asking them to leave (they're all in the hospitality industry after all), but if a guest is particularly demanding or deemed unreasonable the managers all have a firm line. I don't mind having a backbone, but I do think most of my coworkers are a touch "rude-er" and more bitter than I would like. I know that Disney customer service is rather ridiculous after working there for two years, but after being there and going anywhere else it's actually unsettling. My idea of polite customer service is now seen as weakness and too much charity - and this blows my mind.
It also made me sad to think that as part of adapting to the new culture I'm in that I may become just as aggressive and unyielding. I used to be that way in my personal life, and I have worked for years to try and be more compassionate and empathetic to others. So to hear that what I perceive to be kindness is seen as little more than weakness makes my soul ache for those who don't know what to do with a kind word.
It also makes me realise that the empathy culture we have created (as much as millennial Christians want to rebel against it), was made for a reason. In the world today the act of true kindness, caring, and compassion ("empathy") is rare to find - especially in a big city (where the media centres of the world are located). I understand not wanting empathy to be confused with Christian charity, but I think that articles which want to banish the idea of empathy as being a legitimate means of relating with others is too extreme. Clearly, the authors of these articles have an overabundance of people in their life who are willing to take the time to empathize and commiserate, and they do not realise how fortunate they are to have someone who wants to do that in their life.
However, I did feel vindicated today when a guest came up to me before he left. He and his friend came at the worst possible time. I had three other guests come up to me simultaneously and I was the only host on the floor. I could tell they wanted to grab a table, but I had to deal with the other customer issues before theirs. Thus, they took it upon themselves to sit at an open table. Although miffed, the main reason I was concerned was that the table they chose was in a closed section. I also knew they were upset that I didn't handle their concern first.
Before I went over to them I had just been told by a manager to be a "passive-aggressive bitch" when it comes to dealing with customers. I am the first line of defence as a host, and I shouldn't go to them over every little problem with someone. Although I completely agree (and I can be a "passive-aggressive bitch" if I have to be), I also didn't agree with the method suggested. Instead, I used a little "Disney magic" as it were, and politely asked the guest in a friendly manner to move tables. And before he left, the guest came up to me and complimented me on how I handled their move. He said that the way I asked him was too nice to stay mad and that he was impressed with my professionalism. I know how hard it is to work in restaurants, but in that one moment, I was also reminded of how the one or two guest compliments that brighten your day really do in fact make the job better.
Thus, I felt vindicated on the whole about my method of using empathy as a tool. True kindness is clearly not common, and although I hope to soak up the art and culture of New York, I do hope to leave the "rude-ness" out.
Kindness DOES count. Thank you for the reminder.
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