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| Soon. (Throwback to Jan 2015 when Manar and I were in NYC together!) |
I spent my official one month mark at the restaurant which was not exactly what I planned. Today was supposed to be a mix of writing and running errands, but work called me in last night to work the normal 9-4 shift. Since they have generously given me tomorrow through Sunday off, I figured I could come in and make a few extra dollars while I was at it. However, since my writing still hasn't gotten done for Bowie (which I'm pretty sad about), instead here are ten reflection points:
1) I really miss everyone back home - especially my sister/roomie/best friend on this extra special day. I wish I could have instant friendships here, but I also recognize that friendship is an ongoing process - there is no rushed, quick and easy answer (and that's kind of the point)
2) It feels like I've been here so much longer than one month. I've done an exponential amount of spiritual and emotional growth out here it's unbelievable. It's like my first month of university all over again. I've particularly learned a lot between the relationship of the following (and of all the combinations therein):
Failure + encouragement
Failure + identity
Failure + faith
Failure + works
Failure + success
Encouragement + faith
Faith + works
Success + identity
Isolation + revelation
Isolation + community
Isolation + faith
3) I'm even more impatient than I feared. I'm really frustrated about my perceived lack of mobility towards my professional career, but then my mom reminded me that I've been here for only one month (and I've only been graduated for four months). But I want to start working and being successful now - not ten years later (although I hear that's the minimum for how long it takes).
4) I definitely feel more connected to Bowie and his work. Living and being in the city that so defined him has been a kick. It also, interestingly, made me understand the concept of "pilgrimage" better. As a 21st century, western civilization kind of Christian girl I didn't really understand the importance of travelling to where a religious figure lived. However, after moving here to understand more about Bowie, I totally get it. The references, the impact of the physical space - location - where Bowie walked, talked, breathed, worked, LIVED can't be beat for understanding even more about his work and what he was thinking about. It makes me feel even more connected to him in an odd way, and I imagine going to Jerusalem would have the same impact. I was in Jordan years ago, and I was reminded of how I felt the same "tingly" understanding when I was able to stand in the alleged place where Jesus fed 5000.
5) My top two Biblical books this month have been: 1) James 2) Romans
6) My top two Bowie albums this month have been: 1) Low 2) The Next Day
7) My favourite NYC neighbourhood so far has been: "SoHo" (and the surrounding area: Greenwich Village, SoHo, NoHo, Nolita, and the East Village)
6) I still don't venture out beyond the 6 train on the day-to-day (and I've been too scared to try and figure out the bus system or even go out after dark by myself). But I also think that's fair because everything I want to explore has been within reach on the 6 line or by walking.
7) I am deeply conflicted about working at a restaurant again. On one hand, I could do with the money - I'm so wiped out with things as they are both financially and (lack of) community-wise. But on the other hand I feel empty and frustrated because I'm worried I'm wasting my time at a job that does nothing to further my career rather than seriously taking time to apply to any position that at least helps build my resume and work towards a goal in my profession. In short, whether or not I end up staying at this job it has definitely helped me define (quite quickly) what I am and I am not willing to do for money and for my career.
8) I've yet to try a lot of different foods and drinks out here (the "broke" factor takes the enjoyment out of all that), but my best discovery has been "Chinese Breakfast Tea". It's so much softer and sweeter than English Breakfast that I've actually replaced my previously "all time favourite" tea with it! Good-bye England and Hello China!
9) My favourite memory overall has been exploring NYC with my mom, but my favourite memory by myself was the first day I went to visit Washington Square Park. I really loved the atmosphere and the people watching and the weather was excellent - it was just all around a great time of introspection.
10) I have finally learned to value thinking - specifically "thinking" as in taking time to contemplate, to have introspection, and to meditate on and with the Lord. I spent three weeks "doing nothing" before getting hired at the restaurant, and I felt like I was wasting my time. All I had been doing was taking walks around the city, reading, writing, and watching television (not to mention updating my social media). But as my mom pointed out, I was also doing some major work in figuring out what I wanted to do and my relationship not just "to", but "WITH" God. I was essentially sabbathing for the first time in my life since I decided I was "too busy" for the Lord. I found it ironic that the first time I understand what spending time alone with God means is in the most populated city in America, but God works in mysterious ways and all that.
And of course, this post wouldn't be complete without a final well-wish to my favourite snake - Happy Birthday Mayo!! (Even though I know you don't read my "weird blog" haha)
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