Creative Writing: Haiku 20

Today I spent hours outlining and planning my short story Ziggy fanfic that I started months ago! I look forward to actually finishing and posting it!

Ziggy played guitar
To appease the Infinites
But the world still ends

Creative Writing: Haiku 19

Flashback to when I was in Scotland during the summer of 2015

I yearn for something 

Perhaps it is belonging
I do not yet know

Life Highlights: Housing Update

A picture of the new potential space!

Great news, today I went to see a charming place in Midtown East! I fell in love with the space, and I hope to move on it. It's a mini studio style, so no kitchen or living room, but it has it's own bathroom, comes furnished, and is pretty much a charming little closet all for myself in the Big Apple!

I'm praying that this works out, even though it may turn out that I will unfortunately have to pay double the rent for February (since my agreement for my current place doesn't expire until March 1st).  But this charming place looks like such a steal, I can't help but try and sign the contracts before it's gone. Otherwise, it will be back to the hunt for a good apartment elsewhere once again!

No update still as to Sony, but here's hoping something good turns out for 2018!

Creative Writing: Haiku 18

"Blue blue electric blue that's the colour of my room"

Seems so far away
Waiting for the gift of sound
and vision one day

Creative Writing: Haiku 17

Inspired by my melancholy and impatience where ten of waiting for an answer feels longer than forty years wandering a desert

Ten days of waiting
Feels longer than forty years
In a desert land

Life Highlights: Quick January Update

Central Park a few days ago

Still haven't heard back from Sony yet regarding my interview last week, but hopefully Monday will be the day!

Meanwhile, I officially started packing today to try and do something sort of productive after my doctor's appointment today while chatting with Anna. I decided it would make sense to pack my summer clothes away anyways, since clearly I won't wear any of them before March 1st.

Other than that, it's been a fairly boring few weeks. I've kept busy by watching Gravity Falls reruns, a little bit of reading, and taking care of my physical health. I'm hoping for my prospects to change soon, but currently I'm learning that God's time is not my time!

I might find enough motivation to do a proper essay tomorrow, which I'm pretty excited about, and I also might go to the museum with one of my friends. But that's about it for now. So far my 2018 has just been a constant practice of learning patience and obedience to The Lord.

Creative Writing: Dear Future Jade

Current Selfie from Today - complete with Snapchat filter (is that still a thing?) because I'm too lazy to do my make-up

As inspired by Phil's "I Read A Letter From My Younger Self" upload today, I want to write a letter to Future Jade and keep it on my blog for posterity, which is quite apropos, as apparently, I've had this blogger account for almost ten years (come April)! I originally signed up to keep a blog during my second trip to London and to be a part of my 7th grade book club.

Reading my old blogs remind me of what a strange time 2008 was.  It was a time before smart phones were a universal thing, when to go on the Internet on your phone was too expensive to consider, before emojis existed, when having a full physical keyboard and touch screen was all the rage, when you had to decide which of your text messages were the most important to save (that 200 message cap was always so inconvenient), MySpace was still all the rage, and going to Internet cafes were the only way to access the web if you were out of the country.

Also, side note here, how on earth did I travel in the pre-Google Maps era? Clearly, I did it, but honestly, I'm so confused how I didn't become hopelessly lost.  Also, the amount of "lolz", "^_^", "CAPITAL LETTERS", bad spelling, and general mentions of hot guys I met are way too many and way too embarrassing to contemplate.  But here's a small copy-and-pasted excerpt:

On the London plane ride, though, I met this really neat guy, and he had a British Accent. He even knew and visited Flo Town, and it felt like a VERY small world right then. We had a lot in common, and it was really coool to meet new people. 

The diversity here is really something. Nearly any type of ethnicity or religion that you could possibly DREAM of is here! Everyone was awed by it when we first came. No wonder London is called an INTERNATIONAL CITY!!

Anyways, without further ado, here's my new letter addressed to the year 2028!


Dear Future Jade,

Hi! I hope you're well.  2028 sounds so futuristic, like there should be hover cars (at the very least self-driving cars), matter transporters, holograms, Google glasses instead of brick phones, longer lasting battery life, jet packs - lots of insane future-y things that I'm sure already exist, but just aren't available to commercial consumption yet.

I can't believe that this time in ten years I will be 32 - almost 33 - years old.  That's the same age that my mom adopted me from China! It's also the same age Christ was crucified.  Hopefully you aren't on the way to be crucified, but do you have a family yet? Are you married? (Hopefully to a British guy).  When I was younger I thought I would be an old married woman, practically dead, by the time I was in my mid-twenties, but seeing as that's only two/three years away, I've re-adjusted my personal timeline.  I hope that you are married, or if not, not cripplingly lonely and surrounded by lots of friends and family.

Are you still good friends with Douglass? With Ike, Alex, Marlee, Anna, and all your other uni friends? Are you still friends with Todd and Annaliese? (Most likely, since you've managed to stay friends post-university just fine).  What are all of them doing these days? Say hello for them for me, and call your mom.  You probably don't call everyone enough.

I also hope that you have a good job that you love (maybe not every day, but most days), in a field that you enjoy.  I hope you are making more than money.

My current (general) goals are:
1) To have a decent paying job in my industry (entertainment/media/arts)
2) To have my own apartment
3) To have better mental, physical, and emotional health

But I also hope that you've worked more on your art career, gained more hobbies, read more books, achieved your goal of going to six continents before hitting 30 years old, and moved to London (at least temporarily) by now.

Are you still interested in the music and film industries? What are the current trends? Right now I predict that jazz music and "big bands" will be the future, and single artists will die out.  Do you still love David Bowie with your whole heart and soul? It will be twelve years since he died - which is crazy, since twelve years ago he was alive and well in 2006.

What's on your nightstand? Right now I'm reading The Club of Queer Trades by G.K. Chesterton, and I've just finished The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea by ‎Yukio Mishima, as I'm also going through Bowie's Top 100 Books List.

Where are you living these days? It's been about five months since I moved to New York City.  I plan on only staying here for a few years - four, maybe five (THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT) to get a good idea of what it's like to live in New York.  Did you decide to extend your stay? Are you living in London yet?

I wonder what advice you'd give me (when I think about the advice I'd give myself ten years ago)? These are some of the things I hope you remember in the future (no particular order):

1) Take life less seriously.  I'm still working on this, as I feel melancholy more days than not, but things that help include being more enthusiastic about life and having fun.
2) There's more to life than money.  Even broke af, I know this, and my deepest desire is to make money at making art which inspires people and glorifies God.
3) God first.  Seriously.  I hope you've learned to trust, obey, and have faith in Him better than anything I have done (as of yet).  No job, relationship, etc. is worth sacrificing for this.
4) You can do more than you think.  To quote Bowie: "No hill's too steep, no mountain's too tall.  With hope and faith, you can conquer them all".  Ten years ago you decided to move across the country by yourself and live in the most expensive city in America with no job, no friends, and nothing except for your determination and the Spirit.  (See: Number 3).
5) Be open.  To everything and anything.  You never know where your next opportunity will come from, what you can learn, or what God will bless you with.
6) Always be kind and empathetic.  Treat everyone with respect.  Don't lose touch with your friends and family from the past.  Invest in people.  They are worth it.
7) Enthusiasm and passion are great to have.  Be enthusiastic about life, passionate about things you like (backwards: David Bowie (20 years old-present), YouTube (19 yrs), Doctor Who (18 yrs; 20 yrs), Star Trek (18 yrs), Sherlock (17 yrs), Merlin (16 yrs), The Beatles (15 yrs), Harry Potter (5-12 yrs; 14 yrs), Pirates of the Caribbean (13 yrs), Lord of the Rings (12 yrs)), and don't be afraid to be a little childish and a lot imaginative.

Things I Hope Are Left in the 2010s:

1) Instagram - the aesthetic is taking over the world and homogonizing beauty.  Say no.
2) Hash tag movements - seriously, social media hype and trends are annoying and I'm not sure they really help create meaningful, sustainable change.
3) Bad art - specifically, contemporary art theory taken to it's extreme, but manifested in a lame, meaningless way.
4) Bipartisan opposition - enough said.
5) Being broke af - living pay cheque to pay cheque is frustrating and unsustainable.

Hopefully, 2028 isn't anything like 1928 (the year before the Great Depression).  Remember to get out before that chaos happens! (Although the world already seems like it's on the brink of collapse anyways what with President Trump [remember when that was a thing?], Brexit, economic problems, etc. etc.) But maybe you will be living in London by this time, and the collapse of Wall St will be an ocean away.  Or maybe everything will be revived and bustling like the 1970s (minus the racism, drugs, political strife, economic problems, and bad public transportation)! It's weird to think that will have been 50 years in the past by the time this letter is supposed to be read (assuming that this blog still exists, is accessible, etc.)

That's all for now! I really hope 2028 is a great year for you!

All the Best,
Past Jade

P.S.

Do you have that tattoo yet that you've been wanting to get for ages? Because a lighting bolt for Harry Potter/Bowie on your left foot is still a great idea.  Go get one now if you haven't yet.

Creative Writing: Haiku 16

1/24/17 Chelsea, Manhattan

Unexpected joy
can be found in talking with
loved ones far away.

Creative Writing: Haiku 15

A "I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday" Kind of Day

Don't lose faith my love
Tomorrow will come anew
With rewarded hopes

Creative Writing: Haiku 14

Listening to "Five Years" and "Rock'n'Roll Suicide" kind of day

If five years is all
Then know you are not alone
And gimme your hands

Creative Writing: Haiku 13

Central Park, yesterday

We should encourage
One another and take heart
In Christ's love for us

Creative Writing: First Century "Centuries of Meditations" Quotes

Today I needed to calm my anxiety and clear my mind so I decided to take a walk this morning.  I ended up going to Central Park and turned to my trusty pal Thomas Traherne to help me out.  I forgot how much I genuinely enjoyed his writings, although it's been one of my favourite books for a while.  I first read it two years ago, and it's interesting to see how much I've changed since then.  The notes in the margins of my book are definitely not what I would've (or have) emphasized now.

Traherne is one of the most hopeful, insightful, and loving Christian writers I have ever had the pleasure to encounter.  If you're in need of encouragement, I can't recommend him enough.  And his entire writings are actually available in PDF version too!

But from today, here's a selection of my favourite meditations from The First Century:

2

Do not wonder that I promise to fill it with those Truths you love but know not; for though it be a maxim in the schools that there is no Love of a thing unknown, yet I have found that things unknown have a secret influence on the soul, and like the centre of the earth unseen violently attract it. We love we know not what, and therefore everything allures 4 us. As iron at a distance is drawn by the loadstone, there being some invisible communications between them, so is there in us a world of Love to somewhat, though we know not what in the world that should be. There are invisible ways of conveyance by which some great thing doth touch our souls, and by which we tend to it. Do you not feel yourself drawn by the expectation and desire of some Great Thing?

11

Love is deeper than at first it can be thought. It never ceaseth but in endless things. It ever multiplies. Its benefits and its designs are always infinite. Were you not Holy, Divine, and Blessed in enjoying the World, I should not care so much to bestow it. But now in this you accomplish the end of your creation, and serve God best, and please Him most: I rejoice in giving it. For to enable you to please GOD, is the highest service a man can do you. It is to make you pleasing to the King of Heaven, that you may be the Darling of His bosom.

12

Can you be Holy without accomplishing the end for which you are created? Can you be Divine unless you be Holy? Can you accomplish the end for which you were created, 9 unless you be Righteous? Can you then be Righteous, unless you be just in rendering to Things their due esteem? All things were made to be yours; and you were made to prize them according to their value: which is your office and duty, the end for which you were created, and the means whereby you enjoy. The end for which you were created, is that by prizing all that God hath done, you may enjoy yourself and Him in Blessedness.

15

Such endless depths live in the Divinity, and in the wisdom of God, that as He maketh one, so He maketh every one the end of the World: and the supernumerary, persons being enrichers of his inheritance. Adam and the World are both mine. And the posterity of Adam enrich it infinitely. Souls are God’s jewels, every one of which is worth many worlds. They are His riches because His image, and mine for that reason. So that I alone am the end of 11 the World: Angels and men being all mine. And if others are so, they are made to enjoy it for my further advancement. God only being the Giver and I the Receiver. So that Seneca philosophized rightly when he said “Deus me dedit solum toti Mundo, et totem Mundum mihi soli”: God gave me alone to all the World, and all the World to me alone.

21

By the very right of your senses you enjoy the World. Is not the beauty of the Hemisphere present to your eye? Doth not the glory of the Sun pay tribute to your sight? Is not the vision of the World an amiable thing? Do not the stars shed influences to perfect the Air? Is not that a marvellous body to breathe in? To visit the lungs, repair the spirits, revive the senses, cool the blood, fill the empty spaces between the Earth and Heavens; and yet give liberty to all objects? Prize these first: and you shall enjoy the residue: Glory, Dominion, Power, Wisdom, Honour, Angels, Souls, Kingdoms, Ages. Be faithful in a little, and you shall be master over much. If you be not faithful in esteeming these; who shall put into your hands the true Treasures? If you be negligent in prizing these, you will be negligent in prizing all. For there is a disease in him who despiseth present mercies, which till it be cured, he can never be happy. He esteemeth nothing that he hath, but is ever gaping after more: which when he hath he despiseth in like manner. Insatiableness is good, but not ingratitude.

22

It is of the nobility of man’s soul that he is insatiable. For he hath a Benefactor so prone to give, that He delighteth in us for asking. Do not your inclinations tell you that the 16 World is yours? Do you not covet all? Do you not long to have it; to enjoy it; to overcome it? To what end do men gather riches, but to multiply more? Do they not like Pyrrhus, the King of Epire, add house to house and lands to lands; that they may get it all? It is storied of that prince, that having conceived a purpose to invade Italy, he sent for Cineas, a philosopher and the King’s friend: to whom he communicated his design, and desired his counsel. Cineas asked him to what purpose he invaded Italy? He said, to conquer it. And what will you do when you, have conquered it? Go into France, said the King, and conquer that. And what will you do when you have conquered France? Conquer Germany. And what then? said the philosopher. Conquer Spain. I perceive, said Cineas, you mean to conquer all the World. What will you do when you have conquered all? Why then said the King we will return, and enjoy ourselves at quiet in our own land. So you may now, said the philosopher, without all this ado. Yet could he not divert him till he was ruined by the Romans. Thus men get one hundred pound a year that they may get another; and having two covet eight, and there is no end of all their labour; because the desire of their Soul is insatiable. Like Alexander the Great they must have all: and when they have got it all, be quiet. And may they not do all this before they begin? Nay it would be well, if they could be quiet. But if after all, they shall be like the stars, that are seated on high, but have no rest, what gain they more, 17 but labour for their trouble? It was wittily feigned that that young man sat down and cried for more worlds to conquer. So insatiable is man, that millions will not please him. They are no more than so many tennis-balls, in comparison of the Greatness and Highness of his Soul.

29

You never enjoy the world aright, till the Sea itself floweth in your veins, till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars: and perceive yourself to be the sole heir of the whole world, and more than so, because men are in it who are every one sole heirs as well as you. Till you can sing and rejoice and delight in God, as misers do in gold, and Kings in sceptres, you never enjoy the world.

32

Can any ingratitude be more damned than that which is fed by benefits? Or folly greater than that which bereaveth us of infinite treasures? They despise them merely because they have them: And invent ways to make themselves miserable in the presence of riches. They study a thousand newfangled treasures, which God never made: and then grieve and repine that they be not happy. They dote on their own works, and neglect God’s, which are full of majesty, riches, and wisdom. And having fled away from them because they are solid, divine, and true, greedily pursuing tinselled vanities, they walk on in darkness, and will not understand. They do the works of darkness, and delight in the riches of the Prince of Darkness, and follow them till they come into Eternal Darkness. According to that of the psalmist All the foundations of the Earth are out of course

33

The riches of darkness are those which men have made, during their ignorance of God Allmighty’s treasures: That lead us from the love of all, to labour and contention, discontentment and vanity. The works of darkness are Repining, Envy, Malice, Covetousness, Fraud, Oppression, Discontent and Violence. All which proceed from the corruption of Men and their mistake in the choice of riches: for having refused those which God made, 23 and taken to themselves treasures of their own, they invented scarce and rare, insufficient, hard to be gotten, little, movable and useless treasures. Yet as violently pursued them as if they were the most necessary and excellent things in the whole world. And though they are all mad, yet having made a combination they seem wise; and it is a hard matter to persuade them either to Truth or Reason. There seemeth to be no way, but theirs: whereas God knoweth they are as far out of the way of Happiness, as the East is from the West. For, by this means, they have let in broils and dissatisfactions into the world, and are ready to eat and devour one another: particular and feeble interests, false proprieties, insatiable longings, fraud, emulation, murmuring and dissension being everywhere seen; theft and pride and danger, and cousenage, envy and contention drowning the peace and beauty of nature, as waters cover the sea. Oh how they are ready to sink always under the burden and cumber of devised wants! Verily, the prospect of their ugly errors, is able to turn one’s stomach: they are so hideous and deformed.

34

Would one think it possible for a man to delight in gauderies like a butterfly, and neglect the Heavens? Did we not daily see it, it would be incredible. They rejoice in a piece of gold more than in the Sun; and get a few little glittering stones and call them jewels. And 24 admire them because they be resplendent like the stars, and transparent like the air, and pellucid like the sea. But the stars themselves which are ten thousand times more useful, great, and glorious they disregard. Nor shall the air itself be counted anything, though it be worth all the pearls and diamonds in ten thousand worlds. A work of God so Divine by reason of its precious and pure transparency, that all worlds would be worth nothing without such a treasure.

35

The riches of the Light are the Works of God which are the portion and inheritance of His sons, to be seen and enjoyed in Heaven and Earth, the sea, and all that is therein: the Light and the Day, great and fathomless in use and excellency, true, necessary, freely given, proceeding wholly from His infinite love. As worthy as they are easy to be enjoyed: obliging us to love Him and to delight in Him, filling us with gratitude, and making us to overflow with praises and thanksgivings. The works of contentment and pleasure are of the Day. So are the works which flow from the understanding of our mutual serviceableness to each other: arising from the sufficiency and excellency of our treasures, Contentment, Joy, Peace, Unity, Charity, &c., whereby we are all knit together, and delight in each others’ happiness. For while every one is Heir of all the World, and all the rest his superadded treasures, all the World serves him in himself, and he delights in them as His superadded treasures.

36

The common error which makes it difficult to believe all the World to be wholly ours, is to be shunned as a rock of shipwreck: or a dangerous quicksands. For the poison which they drank hath infatuated their fancies, and now they know not, neither will they understand, they walk on in Darkness. All the foundations of the World are out of course. It is safety not to be with them: and a great part of Happiness to be freed from their seducing and enslaving errors. That while others live in a Golgotha or Prison, we should be in Eden, is a very great Mystery. And a mercy it is that we should be rejoicing in the Temple of Heaven, while they are toiling and lamenting in Hell, for the world is both a Paradise and a Prison to different persons.

41

As pictures are made curious by lights and shades, which without shades could not be: so is felicity composed of wants and supplies; without which mixture there could be no felicity. Were there no needs, wants would be wanting themselves, and supplies superfluous: want being the parent of Celestial Treasure. It is very strange; want itself is a treasure in Heaven: and so great an one that without it there could be no treasure. God did infinitely 29 for us, when He made us to want like Gods, that like Gods we might be satisfied. The heathen Deities wanted nothing, and were therefore unhappy, for they had no being. But the Lord God of Israel the Living and True God, was from all Eternity, and from all Eternity wanted like a God. He wanted the communication of His divine essence, and persons to enjoy it. He wanted Worlds, He wanted Spectators, He wanted Joys, He wanted Treasures. He wanted, yet He wanted not, for He had them.

43

Infinite Wants satisfied produce infinite Joys; and in the possession of those joys are 30 infinite joys themselves. The Desire Satisfied is a Tree of Life. Desire imports something absent: and a need of what is absent. God was never without this Tree of Life. He did desire infinitely, yet He was never without the fruits of this Tree, which are the joys it produced. I must lead you out of this, into another World, to learn your wants. For till you find them you will never be happy: Wants themselves being Sacred Occasions and Means of Felicity.

44

You must want like a God that you may be satisfied like God. Were you not made in His Image? He is infinitely Glorious, because all His wants and supplies are at the same time in his nature, from Eternity. He had, and from Eternity He was without all His Treasures. From Eternity He needed them, and from Eternity He enjoyed them. For all Eternity is at once in Him, both the empty durations before the World was made, and the full ones after. His wants are as lively as His enjoyments: and always present with Him. For His life is perfect, and He feels them both. His wants put a lustre upon His enjoyments and make them infinite. His enjoyments being infinite crown His wants, and make them beautiful even to God Himself. His wants and enjoyments being always present are delightful to each other, stable, immutable, perfective of each other, and delightful to Him. Who being Eternal and Immutable, enjoyeth all His wants and treasures together. His wants never afflict Him, His treasures 31 never disturb Him. His wants always delight Him; His treasures never cloy Him. The sense of His wants is always as great, as if His treasures were removed: and as lively upon Him. The sense of His wants, as it enlargeth His life, so it infuseth a value, and continual sweetness into the treasures He enjoyeth.

45

This is a lesson long enough: which you may be all your life in learning, and to all Eternity in practising. Be sensible of your wants, that you maybe sensible of your treasures. He is most like God that is sensible of everything. Did you not from all Eternity want some one to give you a Being? Did you not want one to give you a Glorious Being? Did you not from all Eternity want some one to give you infinite Treasures? And some one to give you Spectators, Companions, Enjoyers? Did you not want a Deity to make them sweet and honourable by His infinite Wisdom? What you wanted from all Eternity, be sensible of to all Eternity. Let your wants be present from everlasting. Is not this a strange life to which I call you? Wherein you are to be present with things that were before the world was made? And at once present even like God with infinite wants and infinite Treasures: Be present with your want of a Deity, and you shall be present with the Deity. You shall adore and admire Him, enjoy and prize Him; believe in Him, and Delight in Him, see him to be the Fountain of all your joys, and the Head of all your Treasures.

46

It was His wisdom made you need the Sun. It was His goodness made you need the sea. Be sensible of what you need, or enjoy neither. Consider how much you need them, for thence they derive their value. Suppose the sun were extinguished: or the sea were dry. There would be no light, no beauty, no warmth, no fruits, no flowers, no pleasant gardens, feasts, or prospects, no wine, no oil, no bread, no life, no motion. Would you not give all the gold and silver in the Indies for such a treasure? Prize it now you have it, at that rate, and you shall be a grateful creature: Nay, you shall be a Divine and Heavenly person. For they in Heaven do prize blessings when they have them. They in Earth when they have them prize them not, they in Hell prize them when they have them not

47

To have blessings and to prize them is to be in Heaven; to have them and not to prize them is to be in Hell, I would say upon Earth: To prize them and not to have them, is to be in Hell. Which is evident by the effects. To prize blessings while we have them is to enjoy them, and the effect thereof is contentation, pleasure, thanksgiving, happiness. To prize them when they are gone, envy, covetousness, repining, ingratitude, vexation, misery. But it was no great mistake to say, that to have blessings and not to prize them is to be in Hell. 33 For it maketh them ineffectual, as if they were absent. Yea, in some respect it is worse than to be in Hell. It is more vicious, and more irrational.

49

The misery of them who have and prize not, differeth from others, who prize and have not. The one are more odious and, less sensible; more foolish, and more vicious: the senses 34 of the other are exceeding keen and quick upon them; yet are they not so foolish and odious as the former: The one would be happy and cannot, the other may be happy and will not. The one are more vicious, the other more miserable. But how can that be? Is not he most miserable that is most vicious? Yes, that is true. But they that prize not what they have are dead; their senses are laid asleep, and when they come to Hell they wake: And then they begin to feel their misery. He that is most odious is most miserable, and he that is most perverse is most odious.

50

They are deep instructions that are taken out of hell, and heavenly documents that are taken from above. Upon Earth we learn nothing but vanity. Where people dream, and loiter, and wander, and disquiet themselves in vain, to make a vain show; but do not profit because they prize not the blessings they have received. To prize what we have is a deep and heavenly instruction. It will make us righteous and serious, wise and holy; divine and blessed. It will make us escape Hell and attain Heaven, for it will make us careful to please Him from whom we have received all, that we map live in Heaven.

51

Wants are the bands and cements between God and us. Had we not wanted we could 35 never have been obliged. Whereas now we are infinitely obliged, because we want infinitely. From Eternity it was requisite that we should want. We could never else have enjoyed anything: Our own wants are treasures. And if want be a treasure, sure everything is so. Wants are the ligatures between God and us, the sinews that convey Senses from him into us, whereby we live in Him, and feel His enjoyments. For had we not been obliged by having our wants satisfied, we should not have been created to love Him. And had we not been created to love Him, we could never have enjoyed His eternal Blessedness.

52

Love has a marvellous property of feeling in another. It can enjoy in another, as well as enjoy him. Love is an infinite treasure to its object, and its object is so to it. God is Love, and you are His object. You are created to be His Love: and He is yours. He is happy in you, when you are happy: as parents in their children. He is afflicted in all your afflictions. And whosoever toucheth you, toucheth the apple of His eye. Will not you be happy in all His enjoyments? He feeleth in you; will not you feel in Him? He hath obliged you to love Him. And if you love Him, you must of necessity be Heir of the World, for you are happy in Him. All His praises are your joys, all His enjoyments are your treasures, all His pleasures are your enjoyments. In God you are crowned, in God you are concerned. In Him you feel, in 36 Him you live, and move, and have your being, in Him you are blessed. Whatsoever therefore serveth Him; serveth you and in Him you inherit all things.

63

Why, Lord Jesus, dost Thou love men; why are they all Thy treasures? What wonder is this, that Thou shouldst so esteem them as to die for them? Shew me the reasons of Thy love, that I may love them too. O Goodness ineffable! They are the treasures of Thy goodness. Who so infinitely lovest them that Thou gavest Thyself for them. Thy Goodness delighted to be communicated to them whom Thou hast saved. O Thou who art more glorious in Goodness, make me abundant in this Goodness like unto Thee. That I may as deeply pity others misery, and as ardently thirst for their happiness as Thou dost. Let the same mind be in me that is in Jesus Christ. For he that is not led by the spirit of Christ is none of His. Holy Jesus I admire Thy love unto me also. O that I could see it through all those wounds! O that I could feel it in all those stripes! O that I could hear it in all those groans! O that I could taste it beneath the gall and vinegar! O that I could smell the savour of Thy sweet ointments, even in this Golgotha, or place of a skull. I pray Thee teach me first Thy love unto me, and then unto mankind! But in Thy love unto mankind I am beloved.

66

But this is small. What O my Lord, could I desire to be which Thou hast not made me! If Thou hast expressed Thy love in furnishing the house, how gloriously doth it shine in the possessor! My limbs and members when rightly prized, are comparable to the fine 48 gold, but that they exceed it. The topaz of Ethiopia and the gold of Ophir are not to be compared to them. What diamonds are equal to my eyes; what labyrinths to my ears; what gates of ivory, or ruby leaves to the double portal of my lips and teeth? Is not sight a jewel? Is not hearing a treasure? Is not speech a glory? O my Lord pardon my ingratitude, and pity my dullness who am not sensible of these gifts. The freedom of thy bounty hath deceived me. These things were too near to be considered. Thou presentedst me with Thy blessings, and I was not aware. But now I give thanks and adore and praise Thee for Thine inestimable favors. I believe Thou lovest me, because Thou hast endued me with those sacred and living treasures. Holy Father, henceforth I more desire to esteem them than Palaces of Gold! Yea, though they were given me by Kings, I confess unto Thee that I am richer in them. O what Joy, what Delight and Jubilee should there always be, would men prize the Gifts of God according to their value!

67

But what creature could I desire to be which I am not made? There are Angels and Cherubim. I rejoice, O Lord, in their happiness, and that I am what I am by Thy grace and favour. Suppose, O my Soul, there were no creature made at all, and that God making Thee alone offered to make thee what Thou wouldst: What could Thou desire; or what wouldst 49 Thou wish, or crave to be? Since GOD is the most Glorious of all Beings, and the most blessed, couldst thou wish any more than to be His IMAGE! O my Soul, He hath made thee His Image. Sing, O ye Angels, and laud His name, ye Cherubims: Let all the Kingdoms of the the Earth be glad, and let all the Host of Heaven rejoice for He hath made His Image, the likeness of Himself, His own similitude. What creature, what being, what thing more glorious could there be! God from all Eternity was infinitely blessed, and desired to make one infinitely blessed, and desired to make one infinitely blessed. He was infinite Love, and being lovely in being so, would prepare for Himself a most lovely object. Having studied from all Eternity, He saw none more lovely than the Image of His Love, His own Similitude. O Dignity unmeasurable! Triumph, O my Soul, and rejoice for ever! I see that I am infinitely beloved. For infinite Love hath exprest and pleased itself in creating an infinite object. God is Love, and my Soul is Lovely! God is loving, and His Image amiable. O my Soul these are the foundations of an Eternal Friendship between God and Thee. He is infinitely prone to love, and thou art like Him. He is infinitely lovely and Thou art like Him. What can more agree than that which is infinitely lovely, and that which is infinitely prone to love! Where both are so lovely, and so prone to love, joys and affections will be excited between them! What infinite treasures will they be to each other! O my God Thou hast glorified Thyself, 50 and Thy creature infinitely, in making Thine Image! That is fitted for the Throne of God! It is meet to be Thy companion! It is so sublime and wonderful and amiable, that all Angels and Men were created to admire it: As it was created to admire Thee, and to live in communion with Thee for ever.

70

But what laws O my Soul wouldst thou desire, by which the lives of those creatures should be guided towards Thee? A friend commandeth all in his jurisdiction to love his friend; and therein supremely manifesteth his love. God Himself exalteth thee, and causeth thee to reign in His soul. He exalteth thee by His laws and causeth thee to reign in all others. The world and souls are like His, thy heavenly mansions, The Law-giver of Heaven and Earth employeth all His authority for thee. He promoteth thee in His eternal palace, and maketh thee His friend, and telleth His nobles and all His subjects, Whatsoever ye do unto him ye do unto Me. Joseph was not so great in Pharaoh’s Court, nor Haman in the court of Ahasuerus, as thou art in Heaven. He tendereth thee as the apple of His eye. He hath set His heart upon thee: Thou art the sole object of His eye, and the end of all His endeavours.

71

But what life wouldst thou lead? And by what laws wouldst thou thyself be guided? For none are so miserable as the lawless and disobedient. Laws are the rules of blessed living. Thou must therefore be guided by some laws. What wouldst thou choose? Surely since thy nature and God’s are so excellent, the Laws of Blessedness, and the Laws of Nature are the 53 most pleasing. God loved thee with an infinite love, and became by doing so thine infinite treasure, Thou art the end unto whom He liveth. For all the lines of His works and counsels end in thee, and in thy advancement. Wilt not thou become to Him an infinite treasure, by loving Him according to His desert? It is impossible but to love Him that loveth. Love is so amiable that it is irresistible. There is no defence against that arrow, nor any deliverance in that war, nor any safeguard from that charm. Wilt thou not live unto Him? Thou must of necessity live, unto something. And what so glorious as His infinite Love? Since therefore, laws are requisite to lead thee, what laws can thy soul desire, than those that guide thee in the most amiable paths to the highest end? By Love alone is God enjoyed, by Love alone delighted in, by Love alone approached or admired. His Nature requires Love, thy nature requires Love. The law of Nature commands thee to Love Him: the Law of His nature, and the Law of thine.

73

His nature requireth that thou love all those whom He loveth, and receive Him in all those things wherein He giveth Himself unto thee. Their nature loveth to be beloved and being amiable require love, as well as delight in it. They require it both by desert and desire. Thy nature urgeth it. For without loving thou art desolate, and by loving thou enjoyest. Yea by loving thou expandest and enlargest thyself, and the more thou lovest art the more glor55 ious. Thou lovest all thy friends’ friends; and needest not to fear any dearth of love or danger of insufficiency. For the more thou lovest thy friend, thy Sovereign Friend, the more thou lovest all His Friends. Which showeth the endless proneness of love to increase and never to decay. O my Soul thou livest in all those whom thou lowest: and in them enjoyest all their treasures.

76

And now, O Lord, Heaven and Earth are infinitely more valuable than they were before, being all bought with Thy precious blood. And Thou, O Jesus, art a treasure unto me far 57 greater than all those. At what rate or measure shall I esteem Thee? Thou hast restored me again to the friendship of God, to the enjoyment of the World, to the hope of Eternal Glory, to the love of Angels, Cherubims, and Men. To the enjoyment and obedience of Thy Holy Laws: which alone are sweeter to me than the honey and the honeycomb, and more precious than thousands of gold and silver. Thou hast restored me above all to the Image of God. And Thou hast redeemed all Ages and Kingdoms for me alone, who am commanded to love them as Thou dost. O that I might be unto them as Thou art! O that I might be unto Thee as Thou art to me, as glorious and as rich in Love! O that I might die for Thee! O that I might ever live unto Thee! In every thought, in every action of my life, in every moment I bless Thee for renewing the old commandment; upon new obligations among Sinners,— As I have loved you, so do ye also love one another. O let Thy love be in me that Thy joy may be fulfilled in me for evermore.

87

O how do Thine affections extend like the sunbeams unto all stars in heaven and to all the kingdoms in the world. Thine at once enlighten both hemispheres: quicken us with life, enable us to digest the nourishment of our Souls, cause us to see the greatness of our nature, the Love of God, and the joys of heaven melt us into tears, comfort and enflame us, 66 and, do all in a celestial manner, that the Sun can do in a terrene and earthly. O let me so long eye Thee, till I be turned into Thee, and look upon me till Thou art formed in me, that I may be a mirror of Thy brightness, an habitation of Thy Love, and a temple of Thy glory. That all Thy Saints might live in me, and I in them: enjoying all their felicities, joys, and treasures.

91

O Jesu, Lord of Love and Prince of Life! who even being dead, art greater than all angels, cherubims, and men, let my love unto Thee be as strong as Death and so deep that no waters may be able to drown it. O let it be ever endless and invincible! O that I could really so love Thee, as rather to suffer with St. Anselm the pains of Hell than to sin against Thee. O that no torments, no powers in heaven or earth, no stratagems, no allurements might divide me from Thee. Let the length and breadth and height and depth of my love unto Thee be like Thine unto me. Let undrainable fountains, and unmeasurable abysses be hidden in it. Let it be more vehement than flame, more abundant than the sea, more constant than the candle in Aaron’s tabernacle that burned day and night. Shall the sun shine for me; and be a light from the beginning of the world to this very day that never goeth out, and shall my love cease or intermit, O Lord, to shine or burn? O let it be a perpetual fire on the altar of my heart, and let my soul itself be Thy living sacrifice.

93

As my body without my Soul is a Carcase, so is any soul without Thy Spirit, a chaos, a dark obscure heap of empty faculties: ignorant of itself, unsensible of Thy goodness, blind to Thy glory: dead in sins and trespasses. Having eyes I see not, having eyes I hear not, having an heart I understand not the glory of Thy works and the glory of Thy Kingdom. O Thou who art the Root of my being, and the Captain of my salvation, look upon me. Quicken me, O Thou lifegiving and quickening Seed. Visit me with Thy light and Thy truth; let them lead me to Thy Holy Hill and make me to see the greatness of Thy love in all its excellencies, effects, emanations, gifts and operations; O my Wisdom! O my Righteousness, Sanctification and Redemption; let Thy wisdom enlighten me, let Thy knowledge illuminate me, let Thy blood redeem me, wash me and clean me, let Thy merits justify me, O Thou 72 who art equal unto God, and didst suffer for me. Let Thy righteousness clothe me. Let Thy will imprint the form of itself upon mine; and let my will become conformable to thine: that Thy will and mine, may be united, and made one for evermore.

95

O Thou who ascendedst up on high, and ledst captivity captive, and gavest gifts unto men, as after Thy ascension into heaven Thou didst send Thy Holy Spirit down upon Thine Apostles in the form of a rushing mighty wind, and in the shape of cloven fiery tongues; send down the Holy Ghost upon me: Breathe upon me, inspire me, quicken me, illuminate me, enflame me, fill me with the Spirit of God; that I may overflow with praises and thanksgivings as they did. Fill me with the riches of Thy glory, that Christ may dwell in my heart by faith, that I being rooted and grounded in Love may speak the wonderful Works of God. Let me be alive unto them: let me see them all, let me feel them all, let me enjoy them all: that I may admire the greatness of Thy love unto my soul, and rejoice in communion with Thee for evermore. How happy, O Lord, am I, who am called to a communion with God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, in all their works and ways, in all their joys, in all their treasures, in all their glory! Who have such a Father, having in Him the Fountain of Immortality, Rest and Glory, and the joy of seeing Him creating all things for my sake! Such a Son, having in Him the means of peace and felicity, and the joy of seeing Him redeeming 74 my soul, by His sufferings on the cross, and doing all things that pertain to my salvation between the Father and me: Such a Spirit and such a Comforter dwelling in me to quicken, enlighten, and enable me, and to awaken all the powers of my soul that night and day the same mind may be in me that was in Christ Jesus!

96

O Thou who hast redeemed me to be a Son of God, and called me from vanity to inherit all things, I praise Thee, that having loved me and given Thyself for me, Thou commandest us saying, As I have loved you, so do ye also love one another. Wherein Thou hast commanded all men, so to love me, as to lay down their lives for my peace and welfare. Since Love is the end for which heaven and earth was made, enable me to see and discern the sweetness of so great a treasure. And since Thou hast advanced me into the Throne of God, in the bosom of all Angels and men; commanding them by this precept, to give me an union and communion with Thee in their dearest affection; in their highest esteem; and in the most near and inward room and seat in their hearts; give me the grace which Saint Paul prayed for, that I may be acceptable to the Saints, fill me with Thy Holy Spirit, and make my soul and life beautiful, make me all wisdom, goodness and love, that I may be worthy to be esteemed and accepted of them. That being delighted also with their felicity, I may be crowned with Thine, and with their glory.

98

Wisely, O Jesu, didst Thou tell Thy disciples, when Thou promisedst them the 76 Comforter, that the world cannot receive the Spirit of Truth: because it seeth Him not neither knoweth Him. But ye know Him, for He dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. O let the Spirit of Truth dwell with me, and then little matter for any other comforter. When I see myself beloved of the Father; when I know the perfection of thy love, when the Father and the Son loveth me, and both manifest themselves unto me; when they are near unto me and abide with me for ever and ever, little harm can death do, or sickness and poverty. I can never be alone because the Father and Son are with me. No reproaches can discomfort me, no enemies can hurt me. O let me know Thee Thou Spirit of Truth, be Thou always with me, and dwell within me. How is it possible, but Thou shouldst be an infinite Comforter; who givest me a being as wide as eternity; a well-being as blessed as the Deity; a temple of glory in the omnipresence of God, and a light wherein to enjoy the New Jerusalem! An immovable inheritance, and an everlasting Kingdom that cannot be shaken! Thou art He who shewest me all the treasures in heaven and earth, who enablest me to turn afflictions into pleasures, and to enjoy mine enemies: Thou enablest me to love as I am beloved, and to be blessed in God: Thou sealest me up unto the Day of Redemption, and givest me a foretaste of heaven upon earth. Thou art my God and my exceeding joy, my Comforter and my strength for evermore. Thou representest all things unto me which the Father and the Son have done for me. Thou fillest me with courage against all assaults, and enablest me to overcome in all temptations; Thou makest me immovable by the very treasures and the joys which Thou showest to me. O never leave me nor forsake me, but remain with me, and be my comfort forever!

99

Wisely doth St. John say, We are the Sons of God; but the world knoweth us not because it knew Him not. He that knoweth not the Spirit of God, can never know a Son of God, nor what it is to be His child. He made us the sons of God in capacity by giving us a power to see Eternity, to survey His treasures, to love His children, to know and to love as He doth, to become righteous and holy as He is. The Holy Ghost maketh us the Sons of God in act, when we are righteous as He is righteous, and Holy as He is holy. When we prize all the things in Heaven and Earth, as He prizeth Him, and make a conscience of doing it as He doth after His similitude; then are we actually present with them, and blessed in them, being righteous and holy as He is. Then the Spirit of God dwelleth in us, and then are we indeed the Sons of God, a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an Holy nation, a peculiar people, zealous of good works, shewing forth the praises of Him, who hath called us out of Darkness, into His marvellous Light.

100

Christ dwelling in our hearts by Faith is an Infinite Mystery, which may thus be understood: An object seen, is in the faculty seeing it, and by that in the Soul of the seer, after the best of manners: Whereas there are eight2 manners of in-being, the in-being of an object in a faculty is the best of all. Dead things are in a room containing them in a vain manner; unless they are objectively in the Soul of a seer. The pleasure of an enjoyer is the very end why things placed are in any place. The place and the thing placed in it, being both in the understanding of a spectator of them. Things dead in dead place effect nothing. But in a living Soul, that seeth their excellencies, they excite a pleasure answerable to their value, a wisdom to embrace them, a courage not to forsake them, a love of their Donor, praises and thanksgivings; and a greatness and a joy equal to their goodness. And thus all ages are present in my soul, and all kingdoms, and God blessed forever. And thus Jesus Christ is seen in me, and dwelleth in me, when I believe upon Him. And thus all Saints are in me, and I in them. And thus all Angels and the Eternity and Infinity of God are in me for evermore. I being the living temple and comprehensor of them. Since therefore all other ways of In-being would be utterly vain, were it not for this: And the Kingdom of God (as our Saviour saith) is within you, let us ever meditate and think on Him, that His conception, nativity, life and death may be always within us. Let heaven and earth, men and angels, God and His creatures be always within us, that is in our sight, in our sense, in our love and esteem: that in the light of the Holy Ghost we may see the glory of His Eternal Kingdom, and sing the song of Moses, and the song of the Lamb saying, Great and marvellous are Thy works, Lord God Almighty, just and true are Thy ways, Thou King of Saints.

Life Highlights: Cause You've Gotta Have Faith (Homeless Part 2)

Alrighty friends, it's prayer time again! I checked in with my roommate, and it's been officially decided that the original terms of our agreement will remain as they are.  This means that I will once again be homeless on March 1st! Please pray that I find accommodations as amazing as these.  I've recently been dreaming these past few weeks of living a place closer to the Village, so I think the time is certainly right.  And I know that the Lord is faithful, just like last time, but pray that He provides once more!

I'll keep you all updated as the search progresses.  Who knew that my prayers for patience and obedience to the Lord would have such a dramatic start this new year!

(Dear God, please don't put me through the wringer too much, but if you have to, at least provide the strength for me to survive it!)

Creative Writing: The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea Review

Finished yet another of Bowie's Top 100 Recommendations, and as before, his taste has proven to be absolutely impeccable.  Although Mishima is more famous for his book Spring Snow, (which Bowie actually references in his song "Heat"), it is The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea that made the list.  Instantly, I had to find out why, and this book certainly delivered.

For a mere 178 pages, this book sure packs a punch.  It was as if A Clockwork Orange met Nausea met The Illiad met Moby Dick, but thrown into Japanese culture in the 1960s.  Like The Chronicles of Prydain, not a single word is wasted.  However, instead of a fantasy tale for children, Mishima uses his precise wording to create a chillingly great symbolic meditation on the themes of glory, honour, death, suffering, grief, violence, sexuality, youth, and existentialism.  Yet somehow, he manages to bundle up all of these musings in a fairly straight-forward narrative about a thirteen-year-old boy named Noboru, his widowed mother Fusako, and their lives after the sailor Ryuji enters into it.

I highly recommend it as a companion piece to, or if you're a fan of, any of the aforementioned works.  The ending left me with the type of (literal) spine-tingling foreboding, yet finality, that only a few other works have managed to inspire.  I felt as if my soul had been pierced with a type of grim not-quite-empathy that the story offered in its tale of brutal not-quite-realism in its portrayal of worldly cruelty and universal chaos.  I know this will certainly be a work I will come to reference again and again in my life, and it's a wonderful introduction to Japanese literature.  5/5.


Some choice quotes below (warning: they're definitely not spoiler free):


"At twenty, he had been passionately certain: there's just one thing I'm destined for and that's glory; that's right, glory! He had no idea what kind of glory he wanted, or what kind he was suited for.  He knew only that in the depths of the world's darkness was a point of light which had been provided for him alone and would draw near someday to irradiate him and no other.
And it seemed increasingly obvious that the world would have to topple if he was to attain the glory that was rightfully his.  They were cosubstantial: glory and the capsized world.  He longed for a storm.  But life aboard ship taught him only the regularity of natural law and the dynamic stability of the wobbling world.  He began to examine his hopes and dreams one by one, and one by one to efface them as a sailor pencils out the days on the calendar in his cabin.
Sometimes, as he stood watch in the middle of the night, he could feel his glory knifing toward him like a shark from some great distance in the darkly heaping sea, see it almost aglow, like the noctilucae that fire the water, surging in to flood him with light and cast the silhouette of his heroic figure against the brink of man's world.  On those nights, standing in the white pilot-house amid clutter of instruments and bronze signal bells, Ryjui was more convinced than ever:
There must be a special destiny in store for me; a glittering, special-order kind no ordinary man would be permitted.
At the same time, he liked popular music."


"He remembered her asking: "Why haven't you ever married?" And he remembered his simpering answer: "It's not easy to find a woman who is willing to be a sailor's wife."
What he had wanted to say was: "All the other officers have two or three children by now and they read letters from home over and over again, and look at pictures their kids have drawn of houses and the sun and flowers.  Those men have thrown opportunity away -- there's no hope for them any more.  I've never done much, but I've lived my whole life thinking of myself as the only real man.  And if I'm right, then a limpid, lonely horn is going to trumpet through the dawn someday, and a turgid cloud laced with light will sweep down, and the poignant voice of glory will call for me from the distance -- and I'll have to jump out of bed and set out alone.  That's why I've never married.  I've waited, and waited, and here I am past thirty."
But he hadn't said anything like that; partly because he doubted a woman would understand.  Nor had he mentioned his concept of ideal love: a man encounters the perfect woman only once in a lifetime and in every case death interposes -- an unseen Pandarus -- and lures them into the preordained embrace.  This fantasy was probably a product of the hyperbole of popular songs.  But over the years it had taken on substance in some recess of his mind and merged there with other things: the shrieking of a tidal wave, the ineluctable force of high tide, the avalanching break of surf upon a shoal. . . ."


"For a while they had left the city with packed lunches and gone all the way to Yamauchi Pier in Kanagawa.  For a while they had roamed around the railroad siding behind the sheds on the warf, and then held the usual meeting to discuss the uselessness of Mankind, the insignificance of Life.  They liked an insecure meeting place where intrusion was always a possibility."


"'Your ideas about people are still pretty naïve,' the thirteen-year-old cheif said coldly.  'No adult is going to be able to do something we couldn't do.  There's a huge seal called 'impossibility' pasted all over this world.  And don't ever forget that we're the only ones who can tear it off once and for all.'  Awe-stricken, the others fell silent."


"Dimples dented the chief's cheeks, white even in summer.  'They don't even know the definition of danger.  They think danger means something physical, getting scratched and a little blood running and the newspapers making a big fuss.  Well, that hasn't got anything to do with it.  Real danger is nothing more than just living.  Of course, living is merely the chaos of existence, but more than that it's a crazy mixed-up business of dismantling existence instant by instant to the point where the original chaos is restored, and taking strength from the uncertainty and the fear that chaos brings to re-create existence instant by instant.  You won't find another job as dangerous as that.  There isn't any fear in existence itself, or any uncertainty, but living creates it.  And society is basically meaningless, a Roman mixed bath.  And school, school is just society in miniature: that's why we're always being ordered around.  A bunch of blind men tell us what to do, tear our unlimited ability to shreds.'"


"Yet Ryuji knew better than anyone that no Grand Cause was to be found at sea.  At sea were only watches linking night and day, prosaic tedium, the wretched circumstances of a prisoner."


"But after thinking it over, Noboru erased the third count.  It was obviously a contradiction of the first two, which were aesthetic, idealistic, and therefore objective value judgements.  The subjective problem in the third charge was only proof of his own immaturity, not to be counted as a crime on Ryuji's part."


"Are you getting cold? . . . Are you getting cold? Ryuji asked again and again, and all the time he was directing another question to himself: Are you really going to give it up? The feeling of the sea, the dark, drunken feeling that unearthly rolling always brings? The thrill of saying goodbye? The sweet tears you weep for your song? Are you going to give up the life which has detached you from the world, kept you remote, impelled you toward the pinnacle of manliness? The sweet yearning for death.  The glory beyond and the death beyond.  Everything was "beyond," wrong or right, had always been "beyond."  Are you going to give that up? His heart in spasm because he was always in contact with the ocean's dark swell and the lofty light from the edge of the clouds, twisting, withering until it clogged and then swelling up again, and he unable to distinguish the most exalted feelings from the meanest and that not mattering really since he could hold the sea responsible -- are you going to give up that luminous freedom?
And yet Ryjui had discovered on the return leg of his last voyage that he was tired, tired to death of the squalor and the boredom in a sailor's life.  He was convinced that he had tasted it all, even the lees, and he was glutted.  What a fool he'd been! There was no glory to be found, not anywhere in the world.  Not in the Northern Hemisphere.  Not in the Soutehrn Hemisphere.  Not even beneath that star every sailor dreams about, the Southern Cross!"


"A freighter sketched in black let fly four arrow markers: the arrow at the left indicated YOKOHAMA, the arrow at the right, NEW YORK; the third arrow aspired to HEAVEN and the last plummeted toward HELL.  Scrawled in English capitals and emphatically circled were the words ALL FORGET, and there was a self-portrait, a sailor with mournful eyes wearing a pea coat with upturned collar and smoking a seaman's pipe."


"Naturally Noboru stuck close to Ryjui during the vacation and listened to sea stories by the hour, gaining a knowledge of sailing none of the others could match.  What he wanted, though, was not that knowledge but the green drop the sailor would leave behind when someday, in the very middle of a story, he started up in agitation and soard out to sea again.
The phantoms of the sea and ships and ocean voyages existed only in that glistening green drop. But with each new day, another of the fulsome odors of shore routine adhered to the sailor: the odor of home, the odor of neighbors, the odor of peace, odors of fish frying and pleasantries and furniture that never budged, the odor of household budget books and weekend excursions . . . all the putrid odors landsmen reek of, the stench of death."


"Gradually they realized how grave the situation was.  It seemed to indicate the end of a dream they shared, a bleak dreary future.  And maybe they had been wrong: maybe there was no such thing as the ultimate after all."


"'As I've said before, life consists of simple symbols and decisions.  Ryuji may not have have known it, but he was one of those symbols.  At least, according to number three's testimony it seems that he was.
'I'm sure you all know where our duty lies.  When a gear slips out of place it's out job to force it back into position.  If we don't, order will turn to chaos.  We all know that the world is empty and that the important thing, the only thing, is to try to maintain order in that emptiness.  And so we are guards, and more than that because we also have executive power to insure that order is maintained.'"


"'This law is the adults' way of expressing the high hopes they have for us.  But it also represents all the dreams they've never been able to make come true.  They've assumed just beacuse they've roped themselves so tight they can't even budge that we must be helpless too; they've been careless enough to allow us here, and only here, a glimpse of blue sky and absolute freedom.'"


"'If we don't act now we will never again be able to obey freedom's supreme command, to perform the deed essential to filling the emptiness of the world, unless we are prepared to sacrifice our lives.  And you can see that it's absurd for the executioners to risk their own lives.  If we don't act now we'll never be able to steal again, or murder, or do any of the things that testify to man's freedom.  We'll end up puking flattery and gossip, trembling our days away in submission and compromise and fear, worrying about what the neighbors are doing, living like squealing mice.  And someday we'll get married, and have kids, and finally we'll become fathers, the vilest things on earth!'"


"I could have been a man sailing away forever.  He had been fed up with all of it, glutted, and yet now, slowly, he was awakening again to the immensity of what he had abandoned.
The dark passions of the tides, the shriek of a tidal wave, the avalanching break of surf upon a shoal . . . an unknown glory calling for him endlessly from the dark offing, glory merged in death and in a woman, glory to fashion of his destiny something special, something rare.  At twenty he had been passionately certain: in the depths of the world's darkness was a point of light which had been provided for him alone and would draw near someday to irradiate him and no other.
Whenever he dreamed of them, glory and death and woman were cosubstantial.  Yet when the woman had been attained, the other two withdrew beyond the offing and ceased their mournful wailing of his name.  The things he had rejected were now rejecting him."


"Now perilous death had rejected him.  And glory, no doubt of that.  And the retching drunkenness of his own feelings.  The piercing grief, the radiant farewells.  The call of the Grand Cause, another name for the tropical sun; and the women's gallant tears, and the dark longing, and the sweet heavy power propelling him toward the pinnacle of manliness -- now all of this was done, finished."


"Still immersed in his dream, he drank down the tepid tea.  It tasted bitter.  Glory, as anyone knows, is bitter stuff."

David Bowie: Bloomingdale's Spotlight

Me in front of Bowie's ACTUAL suits!!

Big News! As a special promotional preview for the David Bowie Is exhibit that will make its final stop in Brookyln March 2nd, Bloomingdale's has two special window displays with artefacts from the archives!

It features: 14 different 45s from different decades, 4 portraits signed by David Bowie and Masayoshi Sukita, 4 pairs of shoes from the 1970s, 1980s and 2000s, 4 different ties, 3 different suit jackets, 2 Freddie Burrertti suits from 1972, 2 different suspenders, 1 ISOLAR 2 programme, and a playlist (complete with lots of video footage) of Bowie music including: "Everyone Says Hi", "Ashes to Ashes", "Little Wonder", "I'm Afraid of Americans", "Fashion", "Modern Love", and "Let's Dance"!

Seeing his actual outfits and pieces, combined with his music, playing loudly (and proudly) for all the passerby to hear, was overwhelming. To be in the presence of critical parts of Bowie's career was beyond anything I could've appreciated all the way back in 2013 when I first saw advertisements for the exhibit. Soon, my five year wait will be over. I can't wait for March when the entire thing will be on display!

Creative Writing: Haiku 12

"My friend don't listen to the crowd/They say 'Jump'/Got to believe somebody"

Lord, please grant me peace
Doubt and anxiety plague
My mind ceaselessly

Creative Writing: The Chronicles of Prydain Review

983 pages and less than twenty-four hours later, and I have finished the entirety of The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander! I was inspired to read these novels when Alex asked me for sci-fi/fantasy recommendations the other day.  I remembered wanting to read this series because as a young child I loved the Disney film The Black Cauldron, and I recently found out the film was actually based on a book series.  The books themselves were written in the 1960s, and winners of numerous literary awards, including the prestigious Newberry Medal.

The other day, my mother graciously Amazoned me copies of the books, so I started them yesterday afternoon, and I couldn't put them down until the last page!

A wonderful fantastic tale of Taran the Assistant Pig-Keeper, the books may be likened to The Lord of the Rings series as the Charlie Bone series is to Harry Potter.  However, unlike Charlie Bone, the similarities shared between The Chronicles of Prydain and The Lord of the Rings are rooted more deeply in their strict adherence to their fairy-tale and mythological origins rather than a similar premise.  Alexander also borrowed heavily from Welsh mythology, like Tolkien, and this fact is reflected in the names of all the characters and locations of Prydain.  However, aside from deeper literary connections regarding themes, tropes, structure, etc. Alexander's books are certainly a force to be reckoned with in their own right.

The thing that most impressed me about the series was the pacing of the novels.  Within only a few pages at the beginning of every book, you are thrown into the thick of the action, which doesn't relent until the final closing paragraphs of the novel.  Perhaps it's because I have watched/read so many things with a slow burn, and have come to enjoy the drawn-out process, that I have forgotten that some works don't need to keep the audience enthralled with a slow build.  Instead, the pace of these books is almost breakneck in how quickly they advance the action/plot of the narrative.  This makes sense to me, as they're meant for children (with perhaps shorter attention spans to wait for a slow build), but what baffled me even more was how well it worked.  I never felt like I was missing out on important character, thematic, or narrative development despite how quickly the books got to the thick of the action.  Not to mention how much action is crammed into books that are less than 250 pages (indeed, the first three are less than 200 pages long).  I hope one day to write a story with the same intensity and intentionality at the dizzying pace Alexander sets.

Aside from the pacing, the novels' thematic work was by far some of its most pleasing.  A well-written children's novel is worth just as much as any Tolstoy for teaching people hard truths and valuable insight into both the world and the depths of humanity - and this series doesn't fail to deliver.  Such themes the book explored included the value of friendship, hard work, honesty, humility, goodness, sacrifice, and, of course, love.

I was particularly pleased with how the theme-work was supported and advanced by clever storylines, excellent character development, and a well-crafted story.  One such example is in the fourth installment, when Taran goes searching for the truth of his identity.  The entire novel is about Taran's external quest to find out who he is, but the outward actions, deeds, etc. are all in service of the internal journey Taran undergoes.  In fact, the entire series does this particularly well in ways that even threw me for a loop - for instance, Taran's gift of a single magical summons.

I assumed that he would use the summons at the height of a battle to call for aid, or some other type of external conflict, perhaps coming at the climax of the novel.  However, instead, within a few pages of receiving the power of the summons, Taran chooses to sacrifice his call for aid to try and save a farmer who lied to him.  However, the summons fails to come in time and the farmer still dies.  The quickness of disposing of magical gifts/abilities is something that characterises this entire world, instead choosing to act under one's own willpower/talents/hard work.  In short, showing how magical abilities don't solve every problem, and that to do an honest labour within one's own power has its own sort of inner satisfaction/honour/glory.  And even if one is granted magic, that doesn't mean everything is "fixed" - tragedy/consequences are still present.

I really appreciated this take on how the characters used/interacted with magic/magical gifts, as it spoke of a consistent internal logic to the in-book universe, supported the thematic work of the novel, and forwarded the plot at the breakneck speed all in one go.

Moreover, as an adult, I still found myself firmly resonating with the simple truths the books present.  One such deceptively simple truth was the value of honesty, and how being honest in cases where white lies are commonly used really doesn't hurt anyone.  The truth is more valuable than the lie, and you won't be scorned for being honest (in a humble fashion).  However, it was presented in the comedic character of Fflewddur, who constantly had to repair his harp strings whenever he told a white lie as a bard, telling of (too) great deeds.

And of course, the characters and plot themselves are highly enjoyable.  No character is safe from Alexander's pen, however, as with all the twists and turns of the novel, any character is suspect to the chopping block.  And the suspense of uncovering which characters would live or die throughout the series was just as nerve-wracking as any theorizing in Rowling's universe.  Truly, the series did an excellent job of keeping me second guessing what would happen next, which, after you read a lot of books (particularly fantasy series), is difficult to do, but Alexander rises admirably to the task.

Taran's journey as an Assistant Pig-Keeper is thrilling and exciting, with excellent character development in which his pride and arrogance (perhaps the sins humans share in common above all else) are tempered with humility and wisdom, built through loss and grief.  Truly a protagonist anyone and everyone can relate to, Taran's journey of humility is one of the most satisfying.  Not to mention, the excellent side-plot of his love for Princess Eilonwy, which is one of the finest fantasy romances depicted, as she is a fierce and independent character in her own right.

If anything, my main critique is that you never go to Fflewddur's land, and I think a scene in his halls would've added to the series' already excellent narrative.  Otherwise, I think that the books are overall some of the finest fantasy I have ever had the pleasure to read, and certainly aren't bound by any age constraints to enjoy.  5/5.

Creative Writing: Haiku 11 (or something to that effect)

I remembered how 
Reading gives me joy today
Three books consumed now

Too busy to write today!

I'm currently binging on this most excellent series.