Wardrobe of Moral Imagination: "My Head is an Animal" Addition

Since the Bowie obsession has gone down to a simmer rather than a raging inferno, the other main album that's been in my rotation has been "My Head is an Animal" by Of Monsters and Men (released in 2012).  I was really obsessed with this album back during my freshman spring semester of college.  I still remember playing it on loop as I broke down budgets in my Production Management class (along with "The Lumineers" by The Lumineers, also released in 2012).

But there's just something about revisiting this album that feels like home again.  They're an Icelandic band, and their single "Little Talks" is what put them on the map in the US.  But the whole album is incredible, and every single official music video and lyric video is absolutely stunning.  Lots of beautiful black and white/muted colour mythical/fantastical imagery that brings to mind Scandinavian folklore combined with a new type of mythology that create a mystical whole.

It's exactly the type of fantastical content I want to create.  The stunning visuals contribute to the intrigue of the topics as a whole, and even the lyric videos decide to continue to build upon the world they've already introduced the audience to.  I also love that the lyrics have a Bowie-esque "cut-up" feel to them, with a fantastical dystopian - steampunk, myth, and timeless visuals.  That, combined with the obscure lyrics that only gives the audience a taste of what's going on, makes for a truly mesmerizing treat.

Below I've assembled all of the videos in order of how they appear on the album.  Do yourself a favour and go through all of them.

"Dirty Paws"

"King And Lionheart"

"Mountain Sound"


"Slow And Steady"


"From Finner"


"Little Talks"


"Six Weeks"


"Love Love Love"


"Your Bones"


"Sloom"


"Lakehouse"


"Yellow Light"

Creative Writing: Haiku 40

I'm stuck in a mire
Of emotions over you.
I want to escape.

Creative Writing: Poem 7

It hurt to hear you say
"I can't give you
what you want
from me"
When all I ever asked
was for you to Stay.

Life Highlights: Drabble 8

Despite abandoning this blog for the weekend, I actually didn't abandon writing! I was journaling all weekend in between preparing for Todd and Annaliese to come visit! Some good internal emotional work that has been beneficial for my spiritual/emotional health.  But that being said, I'm allowing myself a break from blogging from the 2nd to the 7th because I want to simply enjoy my time with them!

But a quick life update is that so far things have been good, even if I'm still stressed and my hamstrings are way too tight.  I've now been at HBO officially for one month and three days, so I feel a little bit better in terms of getting the hang of things.  I've ordered a car, filed an expense report, coordinated catering, etc. so I'm getting better at the raw components of the job for sure.  But I'm still lamenting the fact that I can't just make the exact things I want to make right now.  Again, the transition from film as a "passion project" to a "legit business profession" is tough.  But slowly but surely I think I'm getting there.

Meanwhile, I am also getting more accustomed to being a New Yorker in the sense that I don't just want to move back to the west coast immediately like I did earlier in 2018.  I think what's definitely helped is getting more of a work community and also making friends with my "new" roommates (of two months).  Not to mention that a steady paycheque now allows me to "break even" every month with my expenses, rather than simply going further and further into the red.

However, I still am pretty set on returning to LA next year as I still don't like being so far away from my friends and family.  Not to mention my hope for getting a job closer to what I actually want to be doing (producing) if I move back west.

As to Todd and Annaliese, I can't believe I'm seeing them tomorrow! I haven't seen them since December, but it's been too long! I can't wait to share the City with them and go do touristy things together.  I hope we all have as much fun as we've been planning for the past five months!

Wardrobe of Moral Imagination: GMM Predictive Text Music Video Addition

For the past two days I've been playing Rhett and Link's "predictive text" music videos on loop! They're just so good and clever and hilarious.  They remind me a lot of a modern version of Bowie's cut-up method and his special-made computer programme - Verbizer - which basically did the same thing as the physical process of literally cutting up snippets of text to re-arrange.

Some of the lyrics are great and others are garbage (and pretty funny).  I definitely wonder if they curated the best ones that were generated in order to make everything rhyme (and be hilarious).  And honestly some of the lyrics have great imagery/symbolism - the way only A.I. can create!

They also remind me of the musical comedy theatre that Bowie did during his "Laughing Gnome" days of the early 60s, which makes them all the more endearing to me (even past the auto-tune).

Below are my favourite lyrics from "Shake the Death" and "Body Like a Back Road" (and I love this version of "Body Like a Back Road" so much I haven't even listened to the "real" version of the song!)

"Shake the Death"



Best Lyrics:

You know it feels right; I know you feel the moon

Don't brag about my confidence; Too dumb to help you better

Don't fight away the sexy sense; Come on why don't you let her

I'm ready to recruit the moon; But she's so complicated; I'm ready to recruit the stars

I'm on a train to woman town; I've got my dangerous baby; I'm throwing all that money down

Get away with your sexy brain; ain't thinking bout another"




"Body Like a Back Road"



Best Lyrics:

Got the truck on fire; Gotta mess right here; first time I should've slowed down; It's just not my year

I swear I ain't creepin; Something bout your eyes; Makes me talk like a man

Sayin that you don't know me; Well that's real sweet

Got a redneck bathtub; filled up with bad vibes; Ain't gon say goodbye to your tattooed eyes

Body like a streetlight; Ooo that shines me too bright

We're never gettin older; It's the sexy truth

Gettin older in a hury; Life's too short to worry; I'm gon jump your heart like; It's a new car

Creative Writing: Poem 6

did I lose the chance to kiss you?

he asks me with a sigh

my silence was enough reply

perhaps he did

i do not know

if he lost my heart long ago

i can not imagine a life without you

he tells me between the lines

of what he says after we drink wine

but why can't he tell me that

sober, with candid honesty

i have worn down my sanity

with waiting for the day

he would say we could be together

but now, apart at last, will surely be for the better

prompt: Stranger Conversations: Start the first line of your poem with a word or phrase from a recent passing conversation between you and someone you don’t know.

Creative Writing: Haiku 39

Missing you is like
Drowning in the sea without
A Life preserver

Current Contemplations: Moral Relativism in Children's Programmes

Lately I've been thinking a lot about Moral Relativism - specifically moral relativism in children's programmes.

The online Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines "Moral Relativism" as:

Moral relativism is an important topic in metaethics. It is also widely discussed outside philosophy (for example, by political and religious leaders), and it is controversial among philosophers and nonphilosophers alike. This is perhaps not surprising in view of recent evidence that people's intuitions about moral relativism vary widely. Though many philosophers are quite critical of moral relativism, there are several contemporary philosophers who defend forms of it. These include such prominent figures as Gilbert Harman, Jesse J. Prinz, J. David Velleman and David B. Wong. The term ‘moral relativism’ is understood in a variety of ways. Most often it is associated with an empirical thesis that there are deep and widespread moral disagreements and a metaethical thesis that the truth or justification of moral judgments is not absolute, but relative to the moral standard of some person or group of persons. Sometimes ‘moral relativism’ is connected with a normative position about how we ought to think about or act towards those with whom we morally disagree, most commonly that we should tolerate them. (x)

And indeed, I am thinking of this general definition that Stanford has laid out when I consider "Moral Relativism".  In layman's terms, that absolute moral judgements (ie if something is objectively "good" or "bad") don't exist.  Instead, what is defined as "moral" ("good/"bad"/etc.) is relative or, it depends upon a subjective perspective when comparing groups of people/individuals.  For instance, the concept of capitalism could be thought as a public "good" in the United States, but "bad" in China.

With this definition in mind, it is obvious that most Christians fundamentally disagree with moral relativism.  There is an objective standard with which to measure the "goodness" or "wickedness" of one's actions - that of God's commands.  And, unsurprisingly, moral relativism is also at odds with other major religions as well like Judaism and Islam.

But although I do not agree that moral relativism is an accurate way to depict the world when taken to the fullest extent of it's meaning, I think that it can still be - and should be - implemented effectively into children's programmes.  The two best examples that I've watched recently that would advocate for this position are in "A Series of Unfortunate Events" and "Gravity Falls".

In "A Series of Unfortunate Events", the idea of moral relativism is manifested by the 7th book, in which the Baudelaire orphans are challenged with their first "moral dilemma".  They are asked to break the innocent Jacques Snicket out of jail in order to save him from a death sentence he doesn't deserve.  The Baudelaires know that breaking someone out of jail is against the rules of the town, but because Jacques is not actually guilty of any crimes, they decide that it is okay to save an innocent man.  As the series progresses, the Baudelaires decide to steal from a man who gave them nothing but trust, to run away from law officials, and to join the wicked Count Olaf's acting troupe, to list but a few morally questionable acts they do in order survive, find out answers to a mystery they are pulled into, and in order to pursue the "greater good".

Throughout the series, the idea that "good" and "evil" exist are not questioned.  It is the introduction of Life (with a capital "L") that makes the distinction between the two more difficult and complex to answer.  For instance, as the series progresses, the fact that Count Olaf is the "villain" never changes.  However, the Baudelaires' perception of him as a two-dimensional villain does.  It is revealed throughout the story that Count Olaf may have become an orphan himself due to the actions of the Baudelaire parents, at one point he was on the "fire fighting" instead of "fire starting" side of the secret organization, and at the end of his life he did at least one last good act by helping his former love interest, Kit Snicket, deliver her child.  Meanwhile, the Baudelaires themselves go from children who simply follow the word and direction of the adults put in charge of their well-being to thinking for themselves and having more agency in their lives as previously stated.

In short, I think it is good for children not to think of morality as purely relative, but it is important for them to understand that most people are not fully good or fully evil due to a simple, two-dimensional picture of their character.  Other people are three-dimensional, just like yourself, and understanding that people have both good and bad things in their past is a foundational part of any child's development.

Actions and choices taken in free will can be determining factors in labeling an individual as a "good" or "bad" person.  And most people rarely commit knowingly "bad" actions.  I agree that people generally tend to do what they think is right based upon a variety of factors (cultural, socio-economic, religious backgrounds, etc).  However, the idea that these actions will never be able to have a common rubric with which to be measured against is where I think the idea of relativism goes too far.

I think this is perfectly demonstrated in "Gravity Falls", in which moral relativism is cheekily referenced in-show multiple times.  However, the larger, over-arching themes of the show prove that relativism can be held in check with a solidly Christian message underneath.  (Note: The creators of "Gravity Falls" are definitely not religious - I believe Alex Hirsch, the mastermind behind the series, is actually an atheist.  Rather, as a Christian viewer I have detected Christian thematic elements that are evident in the series).

Throughout the show the development of the main characters, but in particular Stanley and Stanford Pines, utilizes moral relativism to its advantage.  Throughout the show characters try to do the right thing in tough situations with the information they have.  And once again this adds a level of realism and complexity to each of the protagonists.

It is exactly this which allows characters like Grunkle Stan to be a liar, thief, and a criminal, but at the same time be heroic and honourable.  His deep love of money, it is later revealed, comes from a traumatic incident in which he was kicked out of his home/family due to "costing the family millions".  As a result, his quest for money stems from the fact that he wants to be reconciled with his family, and his love of money comes from his love for family.  Although this does not excuse the crimes he committed in the past, it does allow the audience to gain deeper sympathy and appreciation for his character.  It also allows for his character to develop from a grifter/swindler to someone who uses his con-man skill set to trick the villain of the series and defeat him, thereby subverting his dishonourable lifestyle to an ultimately honourable act.

Essentially, the show continually uses this concept of moral relativism, where acts of vandalism, lying, stealing, etc. that are usually considered "bad" are eventually subverted into resourcefulness which allows the characters to vanquish over evil.  It is what allows for reconciliation and ultimate self-sacrificial love to triumph in the face of a demonic triangle, and for that I think it shows that moral relativism, as it introduces complexity/relatability into the narrative and characters, is important for children to be exposed to, while at the same time it is not completely incompatible with objective Christian themes of "goodness" like forgiveness, reconciliation, and self-sacrificial love.

Not to mention it makes for one hellavua punch-line.

Creative Writing: Haiku 38

Once upon a time
A young girl believed she was
Meant for adventure

Creative Writing: A Series of Unfortunate Events Season 2 Review

This weekend I binge-watched the entirety of season 2 of Netfllix's "A Series of Unfortunate Events". I didn't even realise it was released around a month ago, but I happily decided it was worth the time this weekend to watch as I was such a huge fan of the books growing up.

Which, as a side note here, Lemony Snicket was the only author I ever wrote a fan letter to as a child (yes, not even JK Rowling got a devoted letter from me).  I remember I got into the book right after the 10th book was released, and I eagerly awaited the last three books.  I remember going to the official website every week waiting for clues about the final books, solving online puzzles, and ordering the extra material (such as "The Unauthorized Autobiography" and "The Beatrice Letters").  So when I say I was a fan, I was a Very Fanatic Devotee of the series (if I knew about fandoms when I was ten, I would've solidly put myself in the Snicket fandom).

And part of the reason I wasn't tracking the series as devotedly as I did before the premiere of the first season was because I thought the first season was a solid "B".  There was nothing inherently unforgiving in the series, (and why would there be, as the actual author of the series is on the writing team for the Netflix show), but I still thought there were some technical, story, and aesthetic things that I would've done differently.  This article does a good job at more or less summing up my feelings regarding the 2004 movie versus the 2017 series adaptation.  (Although I freely admit a bias to loving the film adaptation, much to the controversy of many dedicated Snicket fans).

But I am happy to report that the second season improved upon the first  season above and beyond what I would've hoped.  The two things that really made this series stand out are:

1) The "B" Plotlines

As a Very Fanatic Devotee of the series, anything involving VFD and the non-Baudelaire orphan main plot line was of Very Focused Discernment.  I loved learning more about the Snicket siblings, Count Olaf, and the Baudelaire parents, as well as, of course, the secret organization itself.  And this series is a goldmine for all of that delicious content that always made up the "just out of reach" framework for the fantastical world of the Baudelaires.  The series knew that it's B plot lines involving the other adults and secondary characters in the secret organization were where it could flesh out and strengthen the intrigue and mystery of the story, and that's exactly what it did.

This allowed viewers to have something "surprising" in store as well as referencing all the "little things" that hardcore fans of the show would be eager to dissect.  Not to mention that aside from making the plot more exciting, it advanced the themes of the original series extremely well regarding the idea of "growing up".  The idea that even the other characters don't know everything, and the secrets surrounding their connections, The Schism, and their certainly questionable morality was pushed more clearly in the best way possible.  I particularly loved the opening sequence for the penultimate episode of the series - to get a glimpse into the masked ball that's alluded to so many times in the series was a real treat.

2) The inherent bias I have towards "middle books"/storyline

As long as this series was well made, it all but guaranteed that this would be a standout.  Case in point, my favourite book of "Lord of the Rings" is the "Two Towers", my favourite book of the "Chronicles of Prydain" is "Taran Wanderer", so on and so forth.  I love anything that sets up the pay-off for the final installment of pretty much anything.  And this series is the set-up for what will assuredly be a great finale season 3.

This season does a fantastic job at transitioning the series from it's archetypal storyline (Mr. Poe drops off the Baudelaires with an unfit guardian, Count Olaf disguises himself to try and kidnap the children, someone is murdered, and the Baudelaires are off again to another guardian) to the blurry storyline when the Baudelaires decide to have more agency in plot lines which break from the mold (when they decide to runaway after being placed in the Vile Village of Book 7). 

This parallels the larger themework that Snicket advances, in which children go from a black and white view of the world where good is always good and evil is always evil to an understanding of "grey areas".  The Baudelaires end up choosing to do "wicked" deeds (like stealing, lying, etc.) in order to survive a cruel world, and Count Olaf shows glimmers of nobility throughout his wickedness.  In short, the complications of plot, characters, and motivations allow the story to teach children about growing up.

And this series makes that all too apparent as the Baudeliares continually ask themselves and the audience (literally) how to hold true to their moral convictions in a sea of uncertainty, mystery, hypocrisy, and cruelty (much like life).

Not to mention that the acting seems to have improved by the entire cast (Harris' Olaf is really coming into his own), and the CGI, while still questionable, is markedly better than the first series once you get used to the more Wes Anderson/"Pushing Daises" aesthetic.

I absolutely recommend going into this season with more hope than the first, and I'm excited to see where the conclusion will lead us.  (Even if I still do miss the neo-gothic-steampunk design of the film).

Creative Writing: Haiku 37

One day I will sail

Alone through the storms of life

Only to find you

Creative Writing: Haiku 36

I am so tired the
correspondence across my
mind and body's gone

Life Highlights: Drabble 7

Today was full of scheduling meetings one after the other, so in a way it felt busy.  But in a larger way, it felt empty once again.  I can't wait until I am able to use scheduling as a commodifiable skill, but not what I am doing every day for the rest of my life.

Empty hours of waiting were balance with confirming and swapping meeting times around with a few clicks of the mouse.

One day, hopefully, I will be paid to make art I care about and no longer have to only dwell in the land of scheduling.

Creative Writing: "ScapeGoat"

The week had been rather uneventful for Ronald Jenkins.  He was a creature of routine, and he had perfected his to the minute over the past twenty years.

On Monday he had picked up the morning paper, delivered right on his doorstep at precisely 7:30 A.M.  On Tuesday he had gotten his cup of joe at the local stand across the street from his apartment complex at 8:00 A.M.  On Wednesday he took the train in to work and began his morning filing at 9:00 A.M. on the dot.  On Thursday he ordered his usual at his preferred bistro at 12:30 P.M.  And now, on Friday, it was 3:50 P.M., and he had precisely one hour and ten minutes until he left to catch the 5:30 P.M. evening train.

He was employed at one of those businesses where their only Business was to Make Money, and worked at one of those office desks that looked the same as every other.  Everything was Standard Issue: typewriter, stationary, phone line.  He had been there for two decades, and never bothered to put a single personal touch to what he considered his Professional Space.

He was writing up a report for the latest expenditures of the Company when Mr. Smith called him in from the interior of the Corner Office.  He had never been inside the coveted space.  The dark leather chair, low couch, and polished desk made Ronald idly think of entering into the maw of the Beast of Business.  And the Beast himself was Mr. Smith, a pale man just past his prime, with dark, slowly thinning hair.  He gave off the air of someone who had planned on dying in his office long ago.

"Mr. Jenkins," Mr. Smith gave him a curt nod, "Please, come in.  Have a seat."

A bead of sweat dripped down his forehead.  He wasn't nervous, exactly, but the diversion in his Friday pattern disagreed with his sensibilities.

"You have worked here as a faithful employee for twenty years this past Monday, correct?" Mr. Smith asked.

"Yes sir," Mr. Jenkins replied.

"So you consider us here at the Company like family, do you not?"

"Yes sir."

"And you've never moved out of the financial department, is that right?"

"Yes sir."

"So you would be aware of the proper procedure for filling our financial records?"

"Yes sir."

"And you are aware of whom you give our expense reports to at the end of the month?"

"Yes sir."

"And you are aware of the importance of keeping track of these sensitive documents?"

"Yes sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Jenkins.  Then you see why, effective immediately, I must terminate your position at the Company," Mr. Smith informed him, "You have until the end of the day to collect your personal items from your desk.  That is all."

Was the tie around his collar always so tight? He had tied it the same way every Monday through Friday since he was twenty-two years old, and it never felt like it was choking him before.

The rest of the day passed in a daze.  He had been speechless, so Mr. Smith had promptly dismissed him.  A creature of habit, he finished out his normal tasks before turning off his desk lamp at precisely 4:55 P.M.  The only memento he had from the years he spent at that small island was a letter of termination in his breast pocket.

It was only once the doorman held open the shiny brass doors to the Outside World that Mr. Jenkins awoke from his stupor and wondered why his body ached and his hair was grey.  Wasn't he only twenty? What had happened in the gleaming skyscraper was lost to him.

The next day at 7:30 A.M. for the first time since he started his subscription to the Times, the morning headlines remained on his front step.

EXTRA! EXTRA! COMPANY FINANCIAL SCANDAL EXPOSED! SVP RONALD JENKINS EXPOSED AS CORPORATE FRAUD! MILLIONS EMBEZZLED!

Creative Writing: Poem 5

Outside Looking In:
Every Day
Adventure
Excitement
Glamourous
Successful
Happy
Inside Looking Out:
Routine
Boredom
Mundane
Stagnant
Lonely
Every Day

Creative Writing: Tanka 12

Time laps like a wave

Against my body's shore line

Gently pulsing, so

Constant - eroding away
The rocky grains of my life

Life Highlights: Drabble 6

Wow! Did not mean to neglect this blog since Friday! But this weekend I was bound and determined to relax and turn off (relatively speaking).  So on Saturday I went to the Met Cloisters up at Inwood Park since it was a gorgeous spring day (although it was more like a summer's day since it was almost 80 degrees out!).  It was really great to see, although I also had mixed feelings about it.

It's basically a re-created cloister built in the 1930s to emulate the European cloisters/churches/abbeys from the Middle Ages.  And it actually is partially built out of those real materials imported from France, Spain, etc.  Then the museum branch itself has an (obviously) heavy focus only on European Christian art/relics/artefacts from the medieval ages (approximately 1100-1500 AD).  There were also pretty gardens in and around the property.

On one hand, I enjoyed the hodgepodge mash-up as quite an American thing - to take a bunch of older art that we don't have, and try to re-create the environment here.  But on the other hand, my anachronism internal-radar going off the charts because they mixed up cultures, countries, and centuries almost indiscriminately.  For instance, for an alter area they put together candelabras from the 1500s from Spain together with a crucifix from Germany from the 1300s with a table from Britain from the 1400s, with stained glass windows from Italy and Germany from the 1200s, etc.  To me, that just seems insane.  It would be like if we put together a place of worship with relics from the 1600s to the 2000s (also a time gap of 400 years).

Perhaps this is the hip, new way to curate museum exhibits and I'm just out of touch (for instance, the Bowie exhibit was similarly arranged more by theme rather than era/decade/place).  And in some fashion it was cool to see the different manifestations of Christianity in Europe over the centuries.  But if they were to combine things like that, I'd rather have at least a common country or year in one section of the cloister gallery.

My favourite pieces there were all the stained glass windows and tapestries.  But my favourite parts of the whole place altogether were definitely the gardens and surrounding lawns.  It was small, but quaint, and after an entire winter of cold and snow and deadness it was a welcome warmth.

Then Sunday I basically was a hermit and didn't go outside except for a quick grocery store stop and just watched YouTube videos all day (the best kind of day).  This unfortunately was a good call to make, as the weather went back to the gloom and dreariness of April.  Still excited and preparing for when Todd and Annaliese visit in just two weeks!

Life Highlights: Planning New York Trip

Taking my job as "Tour Guide" very seriously today and going over in depth the "MASTER PLAN ITINERARY" that I've prepared for when Todd and Bubs get here.  Obviously we can do as much or as little as we want, but I just want to make sure that we have the option to see ALL OF THE THINGS together when they get here!

Yesterday I went to the Strand while waiting around in Gramercy, and although I originally was going to buy the DK guidebook (you can never go wrong with DK), I found the "Blue Guide: New York" instead to be even better.  It was all organized by neighbourhood as well, with little paragraph blurbs of history about the highlights of each area - exactly what I was looking for.  Apparently, this brand has been around for 100 years (! and of course it's British), and has editions for lots of different cities.  And after perusing through it a bit, I think I have a much better idea of what I want to plan and where to go.

At first I thought I planned too much, then I thought I had planned too little, but now I'm back to thinking I've planned too much! I've broken everything down into neighbourhood sections so that we can highlight one part of New York in a day and then move on to another area, but there's so much to see and do in each place!

If we just walked around then I'm sure it wouldn't be too strenuous, but for some of the things where they're only open certain hours, set times on tickets, lines, etc. definitely add up the cost (both in time and in money).  So right now I'm trying to figure out which things we should pre-order, which we can buy there, and which things we want to do at all.

Todd and Bubs may be annoyed at my incessant planning and nagging texts, but it's all in the spirit of making sure we get to do everything we want to while they're here (I swear!).

Current Contemplations: Amazing Grace (Building)

Recently, it hit me that for as much as I love symbols and signs in literature, in my real life I'm kind of an oblivious, ignorant human.  And this was particularly true as I thought back to how my goal for 2018: learning patience and obedience to God.  Yet instead of granting me more of that (specifically, like an unfeeling robot who only follows rules), God instead had the mercy and love to answer my request for more patience and obedience with an overflowing abundance of grace.

I still can't articulate everything that lead to that conclusion in one place, but I know it's true in the depths of my soul.  And in fact, in case I need a reminder, I just have to remember the job opportunity God granted me - and I'm not talking about the job itself.

HBO headquarters in New York City has two buildings.  One is the, predictably named, HBO Building, which they own and it's where most people who work at HBO, well, work.  But it's connected via elevator banks to a neighbouring building of which they rent only a handful of floors out to their other departments.  I just so happen to work in this side building, out of all the chances that I could've worked at HBO, I was assigned to someone who works here.

The name of this other building?

Grace.

That's right.  I literally work in the GRACE Building (and in fact, on the front of the building is just the word GRACE in all capital letters when you enter).

Anyways, I thought I would share this little fun fact with you, my avid blog readers, as you enjoy God's VERY OBVIOUS SYMBOLISM along with me.  And for all my love of literature and films, I can't believe I didn't catch this one sooner!

Current Contemplations: Zuckerberg Hearings

Mr. Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook, at the congressional hearing in Washington DC

Watched the Zuckerberg hearing yesterday and today, and boy howdy was it interesting.  As someone who is personally invested in the media industry flourishing, I tried to be as objective as I could, and here were some of my thoughts about it:

1) It's all a definition game.  Seriously.  Everything from "hate speech" to "ownership" to "media" to "data" - not a single person in the conversation uses these terms in the same way with the same understanding of what they mean.  Also, although there is a general agreement of "censor but don't censor too much", "legislate for safety, but not too much", and that the "details matter", no one seems to want to get into specifics or take responsibility for defining these tricky boundaries.

2) It's all PR.  Both from Mr. Zuckerberg and the senators/congressmen/women.  The representatives want to look good at professing their constituent's outrage and that they're "doing something about it".  Mr. Zuckerberg and Facebook want to show that they are still a trustworthy company that will make a change.

3) Everyone needs to shut up.  Similar to point 2, the politicians asking Mr. Zuckerberg questions need to let him answer and stop interrupting him.  It might be fun to yell at him for hours on end, but one of the worst things is to see congresspeople and senators fail to understand the nuances that Mr. Zuckerberg tries to explain.  Granted, nuance isn't fun or headline news or a comfort when a security breech like this has happened, But.  It.  Is.  So.  Important.  Without it, how do does DC expect to make informed policy decisions going forward? One example of this is their inability to understand how data is still able to be "scraped" despite it being wiped from Facebook's servers.  I'm not a computer science whiz, but as a basic consumer of social media (and someone who works in media), this seems pretty straight forward to me.  A third party app developer is a separate entity with their own servers, storage, etc.  As a result, Mr. Zuckerberg could wipe information from all of Facebook's servers, but he has no control over outside/third party companies who have it stored.

4) DC versus DC and advancing political party goals.  Also similar to point 2, this trial seems to be all about advancing party policies/perspectives whether it's trying to get Mr. Zuckerberg to promise to back more legislation and regulation for "tech companies" or for him to admit to censoring Republican/conservative messages.  Using this particular high profile media case (because media enjoys hyping up cases about media, just like how Hollywood enjoys giving out awards to films about Hollywood) to advance these positions just seems like a shallow attempt to use the media hype to their advantage for political gain.

5) Facebook versus Silicon Valley.  Mr. Zuckerberg is the face of Silicon Valley to DC, but that doesn't seem fair as no one is outraged about the sheer amounts of data that other companies like Google, Amazon, and Apple also harvest and use for the same types of targeted advertising.  Not to mention that they are also vulnerable to outside hacks, breeches, etc.  (There's a great article on Google's pervasive reach here).

6) DC versus Silicon Valley.  Similar to point 5, there's a huge disconnect between the two symbolic locations.  The amount that DC doesn't understand about how the Internet, tech companies, social media, apps/app developers, etc. work is startling.  On the flip side, Silicon Valley clearly doesn't understand the culture and process of politics in DC.

7) Too many topics.  Similar to point 6, it seems like DC wants Mr. Zuckerberg to atone for all of Silicon Valley's sins (real or imagined) ranging from terrorist groups utilizing social media, a lack of diversity in the tech/media industry, a lack of action/transparency about stolen data by third party app developers, the rise of cyber-bullying, the promotion of self-harm/hate speech, potential censorship of free speech, lack of clear (ie: no one wants to read/can understand) user term agreements, fears about A.I, selling illegal substances on social media, the list goes on and on.  But all of these have nuanced and complicated answers, and conflating all of these questions into a firehose of a hearing isn't helpful.  There was only a handful of politicians who seemed to have clear, focused, and related inquiries in the hours of questioning.  In particular, Senator Todd Young, who seemed to actually understand that The Internet is not one homogeneous sphere that a single person can own/manipulate.  And therefore his request was, I thought fairly reasonable:

Young calls attention to the issue of different expectations of privacy on Internet access services and on applications like Facebook. To users, Young points out, it's all the Internet, and they don't really make a distinction.
Zuckerberg says Internet access providers — "the pipes" — should not be able to see any of the data. "When data is going over the Verizon network, I think that should be as encrypted as possible so Verizon is not able to look at it," Zuckerberg says. "For a service like Facebook or Instagram, where people want to share that, people want to access that from lots of different places," so it needs to be stored centrally, Zuckerberg says. That means expectations of what Facebook would "have knowledge of" will be different, he says. (x)

8) Everyone wants a timeline.  We get it.  We all want to know WHEN will change happen, WHAT changes will happen, and WHO will be involved with said changes.  But I don't know if a congressional hearing is fair to ask Mr. Zuckerberg for one, as he needs time to consult with his internal team/company, work out all the nuanced details, etc.  I agree that demanding for one is good, but asking him this again and again and again won't get Congress a copy any sooner.

9) Be savvy.  This is not the fun or sexy answer, but one of the refrains again and again was "do you think the average Facebook user knows [fill in the blank]", and I think this is where Mr. Zuckerberg has some ground.  His company has done a fairly decent job over the past few years at getting people to look at privacy policies with fun icons and easy to understand words.  In fact, you can literally go see what Facebook thinks your political leanings and interests are that advertisers can target if you just go to the account settings/privacy tab.  You can also easily delete this tracking and opt-out of settings.  I also, despite being a Facebook user for almost a decade, never linked my phone number or text messages with Facebook, despite installing the Facebook and Facebook Messenger app.  Be smart.  I agree with Mr. Zuckerberg that there has to be a line where consumers need to have a role in accountability here.  It's only when things like murky user agreements and lack of immediate, clear Facebook transparency is when the company and creator can be held accountable (see: this article).  Congress, however, doesn't seem to recognize where this line is.

10) How much influence does Facebook actually have? The underlying agreement is that Facebook's pervasive, ubiquitous reach is significantly influential to the point of manipulative (as in manipulating people to the point of significantly influencing the 2016 US Presidential Election as well as other foreign elections).  But is this true? If Facebook truly engaged in censorship of media to only showing their users left-leaning news stories then that might skew a perception of what's happening in the world.  But conservative political gains have been sweeping both America and Europe, even if this is true.  Essentially, both sides seem to believe that Facebook has unfair influence for their political party opposition.

This final point, I think brings me to what I saw the crux of the matter to be: Government versus Media: Trust, Responsibility, Power.

I think it's always been true that politics and media have had a complicated relationship in the sense that they influence each other as both are based on ideas and communication of said ideas.  Broadly speaking, if media is assumed to be something larger than social networks like Facebook, this goes back centuries.  For instance, think of the rise of the printing press and pamphlets for attributing to higher literacy rates, sparking things like the Protestant Reformation and the American Revolution as ideas were able to be shared and communicated more rapidly and to more people.

But recently, the public's ability to trust what they hear from modern media outlets (whether social media networks like Facebook or media outlets like the Cable News Network [CNN]), has sharply been called into question.  Obviously, the validity of journalism has been subject to scrutiny for years, but with the rise of the term "fake news" and President Trump's vocal fight against the media industry, it's transcended into an all out war.  Similarly, the trust of public officials has been in question for decades (in the modern era, at least since Watergate in the 1970s).  But the cynicism and distrust of the American government (and politics in general) has reached new heights since the rise of faster and faster means of communication like Twitter hashtag movements and the ability to record incidents any time any where with vigilante reporting from iPhone witnesses.  The public's cry for transparency in Washington DC and in the media industry has been sounded.

Similarly, the question of if government officials and media content creators are responsible to the public was, I believe, brought up again and again (at least in the subtext of the discussion).  The push of public officials for legislation/penalty fees to protect the public seems to indicate a belief that they are responsible for the concerns of their constituents, and that the media industry (even though Mr. Zuckerberg continued to insist on his company as a "tech company", I will include it in the extremely broad definition of media), is also responsible to the public to some degree in regards to their safety/security.

Finally, that last point, regarding power, is the biggest thing above all that the government and media fight with each other over.  How much does the media truly influence the decisions we, the discerning public, make? How much control does the government exert over our daily lives? Are we being manipulated and censored to only see information that the organizations, corporations, legislatures what us to see? The list goes on and on, and we, the consumer/public need to seriously think about how much agency we have over our lives and how much agency others have over it in terms of influencing the types of decisions we make every day and the way we perceive the world.  Obviously, the answers to these types of questions are never easy.  But the it seems to me that both the government and media refuse to answer these questions, so it's up to us to step up to the plate.

(and I'm more concerned about the data I share with my Google over lords anyway)

Creative Writing: Haiku 35

God's unfailing Grace
Washes over me, drowns me
In its abundance

Creative Writing: Poem 4

I never knew how much
Love
God would give me
Again and again and again

When I asked
What does it mean to fail
He responded
What does it mean to Faith

When I asked for
Patience and obedience
He granted me
Overflowing, abundant
Grace

When I felt my sense of overwhelming
Worthlessness
Wash over me
He affirmed my status of blessed
Worthiness
As part of His eternal family

Praise be to God

Life Highlight: David Bowie Is Part 2 Review

So Round 2 of "David Bowie Is" was even more emotional than the first time.  But let me first talk about more curation/technical things I noticed this time around, as I got the official "David Bowie Is [ blank ]" room titles and the flow of the themes.  They are (in order of how you experience them):

David Bowie Is: "[theme]" (what was in the room)

First Room:

• "A Face in the Crowd" (his early years in Bromley)
• "Thinking About a World to Come" (his early years at Decca and 1960s career)
• "Floating in a Most Peculiar Way" ("Space Oddity" corner highlight)

Second Room:

• "Using Machine Age Knife Magic" (Ziggy Stardust costumes/lyrics, Diamond Dogs storyboards, first "SNL" highlight - "The Man Who Sold the World" performance)
• "Never at a Loss for Words or Poses" (his process for writing lyrics/a variety of his lyrics)
• "Taking Advantage of What the Moment Offers" (his album cover design process/highlights of different collaborators/Earthling era costume)

Third Room:

• "Surprising Himself" (his studio process highlight)
• "Making Himself Up" (first costume highlight, "Love You Til Tuesday" performance highlight in "The Mask", minor "Hunky Dory" highlight)

Fourth Room:

• "In the Best Selling Show" ("Life on Mars?" highlight)

Fifth Room:

• "Moving Like a Tiger on Vaselline" ("1980 Floor Show" highlight, 1978 music videos/documentary/fan highlight, additional "SNL" highlight - "Boys Keep Swinging" performance highlight, some Tin Machine highlights)

Sixth Room:

• "A Picture of the Future" (music video highlight)

Seventh Room:

• "Quite Aware of What He's Going Through" ("the Black & White Years" highlight - mainly Berlin Era, brief Sound + Vision era highlight)
• "Moving in This Direction" (ISOLAR I & II highlight)

Eighth Room:

• "A Success in New York" ("Elephant Man"/"Basquiat" highlight, additional "SNL" highlight - "TVC-15" performance highlight)
• Note: Technically this room and the Eleventh Room should be seen as a pairing

Ninth Room:

• "Wearing a mask of his own face" (concert performance/second costume highlight)
• "Watching You" (Diamond Dogs tour highlight)
• "Saying You're Wonderful Give Me Your Hands" (Touring-specific highlight, mainly from "Glass Spider"[?])

Tenth Room:

• "Famous" ("Fame" highlight, "Young Americans" era highlight)

Eleventh Room:

• "Wearing Many Masks" (film performance highlight)
• Note: Technically this room and the Eighth Room should be seen as a pairing

Twelfth Room:

• "Himself" (portrait highlight)
• "Where We Are Now" (final costume highlight)
• "Responsible for a Whole New School of Pretensions" (legacy highlight of artists influenced by Bowie)

Thirteenth Room:

• "Teaching You That Things Always Change" ("★" highlight)

I noted this time around that many of the costumes didn't have shoes (if they even had the right pairing of shoes to begin with), and that having the names of the themes/rooms doesn't detract from my earlier critique about the arrangement of the costumes and themes still stands.

Additionally, I realised that the film room neglects to include what could perhaps be Bowie's greatest acting performance highlight - LRH (Lord Royal Highness) in "SpongeBob's Atlantis Squarepantis").  After all, chronologically it ends on The Prestige, but that was a full year before SpongeBob, and, as any dedicated Bowie fan knows, Christopher Nolan had to personally visit Bowie to try and convince (read: beg) him to play the part of Tesla in The Prestige, whereas Bowie wrote about his role in Spongebob Squarepants: Atlantis Squarepantis as, "At last I’ve hit the Holy Grail of animation gigs. Yesterday I got to be a character on…tan-tara…Spongebob Squarepants. Oh Yeah!! We, the family, are thrilled. Nothing else need happen this year, well, this week anyway."  And the thought of Bowie being absolutely chuffed about being in Spongebob, whereas he had to be convinced to take part in The Prestige is a great insight into Bowie's character and great sense of humour.

I also observed the people who went to go see the exhibit more this time around.  It was just as heart-warming as the first visit to see that age, gender, nationality, ethnicity, ability - there was literally no discernible pattern to dub someone a "typical Bowie fan".  He transcended all boundaries.  I saw new born babies, children, teenagers, young adults, middle aged adults, and the elderly - all of them bobbing their heads in time to Bowie crooning his timeless music.  It moved me to tears to think about how even fifty years later his music is still just as fresh, relevant, and catchy as it ever was.  After all, it's held up to me listening to absolutely nothing else for over two years, and I haven't gotten bored of him yet.

However, something struck me as particularly telling about how this leg of the tour was curated, the rise of social media, and Bowie himself - almost everyone was more transfixed by the video screens than his artefacts.  Large grounds of people huddled around the projectors displaying his image rather than his hand-written lyrics just behind the video screen, where they just shuffled along after glancing at it and/or reading the accompanying description.  This struck me particularly curious as the exhibit itself didn't have any remarkably rare video footage (indeed, you could watch every minute projected on YouTube, like I have).  But Bowie's sheer level of charismatic performance just draws people in.  I too found myself at times hard pressed to look away from videos I had seen dozens of times before to look at rare artefacts I'd only get a few chances to see in person.  Nevertheless, I certainly looked made sure to take my time reading all of his cramped, handwritten notes and every detail sewn into his costumes as this was such a rare opportunity.

Which, that being said, let me just take this opportunity to once again highlight how fucking smart David Bowie is [he's so smart, only swearing can fully convey just how smart he is].  He had the wherewithal and foresight and sheer determination to catalogue and save all his memorabilia and props and notes because he knew they'd be worth something one day.  And indeed, as this excellent exhibit shows, he was certainly right.  Millions of people have queued up and paid to go see this worldwide show, and if the figures for my tickets are anything to go by (for the low end), he and the curation gang have made at least $50 million in revenue (on the very low end).  Not to mention that he mastered the game of self-promotion and persona performance decades before the rise of social media.

The overall tone of the New York leg definitely views Bowie as the Consummate Performer and the Brit who loved-and-turned New Yorker (and the City that loved him in return).  And the exhibit itself attempts to fuse the pop culture perception, remastered, restored Bowie with the original preserved, authentic work from Bowie's past.  It's an exhibit that reinvents the pop cultural perception of an artist who continually reinvented his image (it's rather meta, and therefore I think a fitting hodgepodge tribute to the man himself).

And finally, my personal reaction this time around was definitely more emotional.  I didn't feel a burning need to crowd my way to the forefront of every artefact since I had already (thankfully) seen it before, so I could just revisit my favourites and immerse myself properly.  I also didn't find myself analysing every single little thing like the first time around as a result of my more laid back approach (not that this blog post makes it particularly telling that I wasn't analysing every detail).

Not to mention that I didn't stay as long because unbelievably (and yet not at the same time), it was more crowded on Sunday than it was opening day, and I was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic.  And I was getting hungry.

But just being there again a second time, being able to take it all in, I was moved to tears looking at all the people Bowie brought together, his profound impact on my own life, and just being in the presence of all his history and legacy.  And I was also able to get my official David Bowie Is tote bag and collector's book! It was so weird and melancholy and amazing to get a book published five years ago when the exhibit first premiered in London, when there was still more Bowie to look forward to and the Great Himself still walked the Earth.  Truly, there was and will never be another like Bowie.

David Bowie Is My Hero.

Some Favourite Quotes:

"Think of all the crazy things we'll never do." - Bowie

"It was a crisp sunny morning and the first breath of the 70s.  I'd taken the subway as close as I could to the Village, and, the streets being deserted, followed my nose for that icon for Brit bohos, Bleecker Street.
And with one foot in front of the other I retraced each and every strep of Dylan's work, pictured on his Freewheeling album.  All at once the long ghosts of my [entil visiasms ? writing unclear here] crowded in front of me.  Duchamp, Dean, Mingus, Davis, a crocodile line on which I became a mere flick of the tail.  But I was home." - Bowie

Life Highlights: Two Days Later and Birthday Re-Cap

They Say it's Your Birthday!

Wow! So it's been two days since I updated this blog - the longest gap since I started it last July.  But this weekend I was extremely busy/exhausted so now is the first time I feel like I can properly write something!

On Saturday I celebrated my birthday by going to an exhibit called MONOCHROME in Brooklyn with Michiru before going to Esme (a fun little cafe/restaurant a few blocks away form the show) for lunch (I got a really good fried chicken sandwich with bacon and fries).  The exhibit was a fun little thing- Michiru was right in getting there when it opened, as we waited around forty-five minutes to get in.  And after we left the line had quadrupled in size, so  we were glad that we got there earlier.  The exhibit itself was a bunch of rooms all themed around a different colour (ie a blue living room, a red kitchen, etc).  Although it rankled of potentially lower case "a" art, I think it still brought up interesting questions about why a certain colour and room were paired together and why the artist chose that specific flow of colours for the audience to experience (blue to red to green to yellow to pink to purple to orange).

Then on Sunday I went back to go see the David Bowie Is exhibit for a second time.  I admit I cried even more than I did the first time around, and I'm already thinking of buying another ticket for next month.  But a full post about this will be going up next.  I actually activated my "adulting powers" by waking up super early on Sunday to go shopping at Target (seventeen blocks away), clean the entire flat, make lunch/dinner, and do meal prep for the rest of the week.

This weekend it occurred to me that I've gained some extra weight since last fall due to a mix of anxiety, stress, bad eating habits, lack of exercise, and readjusting my entire posture/back to be in proper alignment.  All of that means that I'm now on a kick to only eat healthy things and exercise for the entire month of April.  Hopefully after April this will all continue, but "healthy food" is gosh darn expensive.  Not to mention that if I was in LA I would have way more choices/opportunities to do so unlike NYC.  Although I'm not about the health-crazed exercise zombies in So Cal, when you ARE actually trying to get healthier it's way easier than NYC (if nothing else because you have more options to choose from because it's part of the culture).

But extremely good birthday haul this year as I got a membership to the Met, a subscription to the Siuslaw News, and tickets to a mysterious surprise for when Todd and Annaliese come visit in three weeks (!) from my mom, the pre-order for the Collector's Edition Complete Series of "Gravity Falls" from Snake, lunch at Esme from Michiru, an Amazon gift card from my aunt, and a mysterious card coming in the mail in a few days from my brother.  And of course Bowie tickets from myself - including the official tote bag and collector's book.

Now I'm going on week three, day ten of HBO goodness, and already I keep thinking about what I want my next move to be after I gain as much experience as I can in this position.  Hopefully time flies by (along with my exercise nonsense).

Creative Writing: More Pines Family Drabbles and Head Canons

Updated/Additional Head Canons:

• Ford's colour palette change from browns, yellows, and blues to his black and maroon stemmed from Bill's betrayal and his instinctive trust of Stanley (he now hates the colour yellow and had to borrow Stanley's clothes, although he insisted on keeping his old battered trench coat)
• Ford is more protective of Mabel than Stanley and Dipper combined
• Ford has zero common sense whether it be lab safety or what a DVD is or how to write anything helpful in his journals
• Ford is a romantic (who else would take a civil war era lantern on a quest in a dripping wet cave behind a waterfall in the 1970s?)
• Ford enjoyed jamming out to "Young Americans" during his first year in Oregon
• Ford is a good artist - he prefers drawing to photography, and his drawings are pretty realistic
• Ford is a bit of a jerk, but his arrogance comes from being told how smart he is his whole life, Stanley's perceived betrayal (in which he assumed Stanley was jealous of his intelligence), and actual high intelligence
• Ford ultimately has a good heart, but he has a difficult time expressing it
• Ford is manipulative just like all the other Pines family members, but even more prone to extreme measures than Stanley (Stan's hijinks are a result of his criminal past; Ford's are a result of a lack of common sense, like a mind control device to help his brother win the mayoral election, giving Mabel a crossbow, etc.)
• Ford's childhood nickname "Sixer" that was poisoned by Bill is eventually redeemed with good memories on the Stan O' War II with Stanley (which was originally turning a negative
• Ford's extremely guilty and remorseful about his damaged relationships (as evidenced by his thoughts in "The Last Mabelcorn" about Fiddleford)
• Ford's still deeply hurt/scarred/damaged from his childhood bullies (as evidenced by his thoughts in "The Last Mabelcorn" where he thinks about Crampelter who bullied him presumably throughout his entire childhood)
• Ford loves a good pun (literally any page from his journals), and has a pretty dorky "uncle" sense of humour (he and Stanley both love the Yuck-Em Ups 1001 Joke Book)
• Ford remembers the first day Dipper and Mabel referred to him as "Grunkle" Ford, and views it as one of his highest honours - he's loved just as much as Stanley, just for a less amount of time
• It takes a while for Bill to threaten Dipper and Mabel because he doesn't realise how much Ford has changed - how appealing to his ego and selfishness doesn't work anymore because Ford has learned to love his grand niblings and (deep down) Stanley
• The grand niblings idolise Ford by 2x14 due to his fancy genius accomplishments and heroic tales from other dimensions
• In a convoluted way, Ford being angry with Stan for bringing him back still shows that he cares for Stan's safety (although he was still angry with Stan and viewed him as a bit of a mooch like Alex Hirsch said).
• Ford is just as morally ambiguous (if not more so) than Stan - Stan may be a wanted criminal in North America, but Ford is clearly an outlaw across time and space and multiple dimensions.

Stan Head Canons

• Comparing 1x02 to 2x14 is interesting because we see how much Stan wants to be validated and appreciated by his family, and 2x14 adds another layer with his competitiveness with Ford - I think that family has always been important to Stan (especially after being disowned by his father), but it wouldn't be the Pines family if they weren't all a bit manipulative and danger prone (compared to the grandpa with his cute kids in the other boat in 1x02)
• Stan is the twins' father's father's brother.  Originally I wanted him to be their mother's uncle, but I realised that since they all share the same surname, and traditionally the mother is the one who gives up her maiden name, it makes more sense for Stan to be their father's uncle.  He could conceivably be their paternal grandmother's brother, but because there's the mention of Sherman as Stan's other brother and no sister, I think it's fairly accurate to assume that Sherman is Dipper and Mabel's grandfather, and Stan is is older brother.
• As per the tumblr post, Stan's life pre-Ford and his anomalies was genuinely mundane.  He was a criminal the normal way, and didn't have any interactions with the "spook 'ems and scare 'ems" that populate Gravity Falls.  This is the same for the grand niblings - its Ford's interest in the supernatural that bring the mystery to the Pines family.
• Stan has amnesia and memory problems for the rest of his life, but Ford and the rest of the Pines always help him remember after his lapses
• Stan still feels immensely guilty about essentially taking away 30 years of Ford's life - he eventually apologizes to Ford after never apologizing for a single thing for decades.

Pines Family Head Canons

• Sherman is younger than Stan and Ford (unlike most fanfics that have Sherman being significantly older than them).  This is based purely on the image you see in 2x12 when Stan is kicked out and you see Ma Pines in shot with a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. 
• Dipper is a night owl and Mabel is a morning person (she gets upset with Dipper keeping her up all night 2x04, wakes up at 7am looking for fireworks 2x11, etc.)
• Mabel is the key to two of the most important plot points in the entire story (bringing Ford back in 2x11, which is why her sweater has a "key" on the front, and bringing Weirdmaggedon to life when she makes a deal with Bill disguised as Blendin in 2x17) - this is a nice balance to Dipper who usually tries to protect her, is the more obvious lead protagonist (like his arc in 1x19 and 1x20 to defeating Gideon), and shows how her character develops by the end of the story

Creative Writing: Poem 3

some times i

get so lonely

i forget that

i am missed

i am valued

i am loved

happy birth day

Indeed.

Life Highlights: Pete Souza Event

Today my boss generously gave me a seat in the auditorium to hear Pete Souza, the official photographer of the Obama Administration, talk about his new book and some of the pictures therein.  It was above and beyond anything I expected (which was, mainly, a slideshow of his work with a comment here or there).  Instead, I got an inside look into the stories behind the book, who Obama was like as a president, father, husband, and individual, and what it was like to be the official documentarian of a presidency.  Below were some of the photography notes I took during the event:

• The official job of the White House Photographer - to visually document a presidency for history (a position since the Kennedy Administration)
• Be there for the "little moments"
• Know where a "contrast moment" could be had (ie Obama sitting in a windowless, basement office as a senator versus at the Oval Office; him unknown in Moscow versus now, etc.)
• Inserts offer insight to character (ie Obama's speech edits - demonstrate how he thinks, works, edits, talks with others, etc.)
• Blend in with the room, don't interfere, and get a quiet camera
• Your shot doesn't have to be perfectly composed if you can still get the vulnerable moments (ie Obama being petted on the head by the five-year-old boy - you can still see the eyes of the boy, the posture of Obama, etc. even if it wasn't perfectly composed)
• "You run an election to win; once you get there you need to get things done." - Obama
• Contrasts are key - ie the tension in the Bin Laden room with the most powerful people in the federal government now powerless to watch the people on the ground
• Obama was constantly editing up until he was live
• "Aesthetic versus Narrative" - what the presidency is like versus the personal narrative of the subject
• Little slice of life moments can't be planned - be willing to be there for them and they can show you aspects of the subject's character
• Before/After shots of wounded soldiers - again, contrast for the emotional response
• Being true to history versus subjective sympathetic leanings (ie should Souza include a photo of Trump in his book about the Obama presidency - not to mention sales impact)
• Contrast of a day - ie the day Trump went to meet with Obama (hopeless) versus the young boy to meet with Obama later in the day (hopeful)
• Social media exploded during the Obama administration, so the popularity of photos shared changed drastically
• The role of the photographer - observer versus participant; essentially being so close to a subject for so long allowed a type of confidant relationship regarding a shared experience
• "Make versus Take" photos - changes the agency of the photographer (you can't plan on certain moments happening)

Creative Writing: Poem 2

Poetry Month is upon us, and even though I'm a few days late, I figured it's better late than never! I'm not sure how many poems I'll post per day (or what type), but definitely at least one a day will be guaranteed.

TS Eliot once wrote
"April is the cruellest month"
And I find I must agree.
For what other month
Reminds you of the finitude of Life?

The birth of the month holds
A celebration,
For one less year of life.
April Fools indeed,
Who don't believe
Birthdays are in truth
Anniversaries of mortality.

At the prime,
Reminded that Death
Is the only other certainty.
While cheerless skies
Reflect the morbid Truth.

And at final breath, April
Dies an unmourned death.
The gloomy people and rainy moods
Begin to give way to reluctant blooms,
Dragged unwillingly towards the surface
Only to be plucked
From the home they cling to
By boys and girls
Attempting to preserve
Their wilting childhood.

Life Highlights: Drabble 5

[Not an accurate representation of the current New York spring weather]

I can't believe it's only Tuesday (6th day, 2nd week of my time here - I feel like a prison in-mate counting down the days).  Finally I'm starting to get some more work my way regarding re-scheduling meetings, booking conference rooms, and that sort of thing.  However, in between the work is the same monotony of waiting for the clock to tick on by.  That being said, it's not like it would be much different if I was at my flat instead of at work.  I'm quite frugal (out of necessity) so it's not like I would be off gallivanting on extravagant trips abroad.  Perhaps the main difference is just that I wouldn't have to be out of my pjs.

In other news, my mom sent me some great photo collage wall art pieces that are now proudly split between my office and my room, which are rather exciting to have.  They remind me of all the good times I was on vacation with my friends (or at least weekend plans).  I am once again confronted with the odd reality which is that a 9-5 has no vacations the length that school children/teachers or freelancers enjoy.  After I see Todd and Annaliese in a month, I will have no scheduled vacation until Thanksgiving, which seems entirely too far away.  I think that I will have to plan for a getaway before then, otherwise I will go crazy with the monotony and the routine.

I was actually hoping this month to get to go home for Rhody Days before this new job opportunity popped up, and the fact that my friend Marine is visiting.  Otherwise, my friends Theodora and Jordan are also coming to visit the last week of June which will be lovely.  They're staying with Theo's family, so I'll probably get to see them for a dinner or two and the weekend.  And my friend Nolan might be coming in early June to the City, which I would be extremely delighted about.

But the only other things to stave away the monotony thus far seem to be reminding myself of the Ultimate Goal and that this job is temporary.  By the end of next year I hope to have moved on to be in the exact department I want to be in and be one step closer to being a producer.  I also hope to have saved up some money and a shiny new script - completed - in my back pocket.

It's also nice to remind myself that I'm still technically hired by my staffing agency, so if I wanted to terminate this position earlier than actually converting to full-time, that's still on the books.  That's not to say that I would, since obviously being full-time with benefits would be the ideal, but to know that it's my choice what I'm doing with my time is nice to remember.  Especially as I think back to the advantages (somewhat) of freelance, in which you have the most control over your time.  It reminds me of a CGP Grey video in which he said he was always more attracted to the jobs which allow you to have more control over your time.  One day, perhaps, I will be able to be a freelance producer and have control over that element all on my own.

Aside from work, everything else seems to be going relatively well - minus the fact that it's April and there was snow yesterday, and that with the warmer weather the cockroaches seem to be coming out of the woodworks.  The exterminator needs to come back again pronto.  If the rent wasn't so great I would've moved out by now.

My birthday is in two days, and Michiru and I are planning on going to the Met on Saturday afternoon for some birthday celebrations, which will be nice.  And hopefully I'll also get to hear from Ike some time this week, but I can't say that I'm holding my breath either (at least before the weekend).  But today I was blessed with having the good fortune to hear from Hayden.  Hayden and I go way back to elementary school, and I reached out to him yesterday for some help regarding a script I'm developing.  He responded this morning, and it was extremely nice to hear from him again.

And that's about it for now.  Still trying to get the hang of everything and figuring out where meaning can be derived from in a position which, on the outside may seem like the dream come true, but on the inside the daily monotony is rather abhorrent.  Just 457 more days (or 90 weeks or 21 more months) until the last day of 2019 in which I will once again be on the move.

Creative Writing: Tanka 11

and so I sailed out
to see if I could find you
but the sea had you
firmly within its embrace
like a lost lover returned

Life Highlights: Easter Review

I hope everyone had a great Easter! I know I did, as I went to church and got to talk with my sister in the afternoon. 

This year unfortunately I didn't feel particularly "Easter-y", as the message was one of the first ever I felt was a bit ... lackluster.  Not that the point of the sermon was bad, but it also wasn't the best Easter message I had ever heard.  Perhaps next year I'll actually participate in Lent in order to get my mind into gear about the Easter season.  I also realised that starting from 2015, my birthday will coincide with Easter every 11 years until 2048.

Meanwhile, I hadn't talked to the snake since December, so it was really nice to get to chat with her.  She even - while on the line - ordered me my birthday present which was (per my request) the DVD collector's edition boxset of Gravity Falls! And I also got to tell her about my potential move back to LA by the end of next year (December 2019).  She seemed pretty excited, and we both looked forward to the day we could afford a two-bedroom together (and make it look extra cute).  Hopefully, that will be by 2019!

And finally, I was definitely saddened to realise that the weekend was already over (now all the tropes about LI VI NG FOR TH E WEEK E ND are true about my life once more!).  But thankfully this Monday has been rather tame as all the executives are out for the day.  I hope that it somewhat remains this way as I continue to settle in.